I Don't Want To Be Functional Anymore

Throughout my time with PTSD, I have always managed to lead a sort of double life -- i ve always functioned so that no one knew anything was wrong. I ve always had a job, i ve always been more or less responsible. But now I am walking a very thin line, and I think I want to fall apart. I don t think I want to function. I am destroying myself. I drink almost every day, have started doing recreational drugs, yet I still have a job. But I am so tempted to just hit rock bottom and quit and... I Don t Want To Be Functional Anymore
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-dont-want-to-be-functional-anymore.55361/