Rumination As Attempt To Encode What Might Get Dissociated?

I ruminate. All the time, especially about what happened in whatever most recent therapy session. And I know I need to stop, but the idea of not reliving and rethinking the material is absolutely panicking to me. I m wondering if this is related to dissociation. I have such trouble remembering my past traumas. This has always bothered me so, so much as the memories that I do have just don t correlate to the severity of my symptoms. And I forget things that I shouldn t ... Like the years I... Rumination As Attempt To Encode What Might Get Dissociated?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/rumination-as-attempt-to-encode-what-might-get-dissociated.57111/