Suicide Obssessed... Anyone Else And What To Do?

Suffering from C-PTSD. I have been obssessed with suicide starting two traumas ago, so for years now but more severely since last recent trauma. (With actual suicide attempt, and planning again.) There is not a single hour that goes by without thinking of dying. All my affairs are in order, just did new will. Letters have been written. Cannot afford my therapist anymore. The crisis line was of no use when I ve called them in the past. Was hospitalized before but I came out even more... Suicide Obssessed... Anyone Else And What To Do?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/suicide-obssessed-anyone-else-and-what-to-do.53483/