Holding Out Until Therapy Starts

Hello I wanted to ask the experienced sufferer (lol) for some insight concerning surviving until therapy starts. I have severe PTSD from 20 years of abuse and neglect, deaths and bullying. Since I realized I had PTSD I am not coping so well, (not that I have done much better before) I feel so dimished and hurt by it and have a hard time with accepting it. I live much more in my head and in the past because I cant get it out of my head. I have suicidal thoughts from time to time, but would... Holding Out Until Therapy Starts
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/holding-out-until-therapy-starts.53095/