Ptsd In Childhood, Exasperated As Adult

I have had an awful episode of anxiety today. I started an intensive outpatient treatment program for my depression/anxiety symptoms this past week and know that that plus the fact that my suffering online friend, S, has told me he is not ready to meet me in person is causing some form of emotional trigger. I am calmer now but this feeling of "losing control" is so hard to deal with and I wonder what is happening to me. I have purchased two books now, one for myself about complex... Ptsd In Childhood, Exasperated As Adult
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/ptsd-in-childhood-exasperated-as-adult.51489/