I seem to have two personal states of "normal" (my normal): depressive, fatigued, in pain...or excited and like I m pushing my own gas pedal. If I feel "good" (like no pain or exhaustion) it s easy to tip into feeling a little bit inwardly high...and instead of just staying where I m at I actually feel a strong compulsion to smoke a lot and get further wired. I over-do it all, and crash. It s like I can t handle feeling good. Or even just "okay." On a scale from 0-10, if 0 is dead and 10 is... Tolerating Good Feelings (or Just Feeling "okay")
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/tolerating-good-feelings-or-just-feeling-okay.53574/
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