Self Harm Relapse

I m having a hard time even writing this post. I cut myself last night. It would ve been two years (mostly) clean in October, but I messed up. It s not that I haven t been tempted before, and it s not that I ran out of ways to stop--I knew perfectly well that I could soothe or distract myself in the countless ways I d done before. This time, though... somehow it felt strangely inevitable. Out-of-control and yet in-control, all at once. I can t sort out these feelings. Mostly I think I am... Self Harm Relapse
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/self-harm-relapse.55871/