My Therapist Has Been On Vacation....

...and somehow, I have convinced myself that I should quit therapy because things have SUCKED while she has been gone. Which doesn t make logical sense. Therapy is at least helping me do life better when my therapist is here. I know this post is awfully vague. I m not sure how to be more specific right now. My trauma therapist is one of the best around here and is a very good fit for me. Somehow, while she has been gone, something inside of me is robustly screaming, "quit! run! you are a... My Therapist Has Been On Vacation....
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/my-therapist-has-been-on-vacation.51721/

How Differently People Can View The Same Trauma

A few years back I was in a devastating earthquake. Hundreds died and it was a very traumatic and scary event to survive. Now years down the track an amazing documentary was released in commemoration to the quake. It was wonderfully made but a huge trigger and distressing to see. The feelings I couldn t allow myself to feel whilst trying to survive the event - came flooding back full force. Extremely emotional. Long story short , after this I was diagnosed with PTSD. I gave up my life on... How Differently People Can View The Same Trauma
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-differently-people-can-view-the-same-trauma.51722/

Consent...

...It s really not complicated http://rockstardinosaurpirateprincess.com/2015/03/02/consent-not-actually-that-complicated/ Saw this elsewhere earlier today and thought I d share here
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/consent.51720/

Pain And Body Feels Disconnected

My body feels like it s in pieces that don t fit together right, because it hurts and I can t take any more pain meds, partly because one that I m on triggers migraines and I have some of that going on too (I need new meds...seeing a new doc soon). If I could just take more meds, I d be okay. But I m crawling on the inside of my body to get out of it. I m trying to do better self care things and be patient with pain but it s hard lately because of stuff I m working with and also it makes me... Pain And Body Feels Disconnected
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/pain-and-body-feels-disconnected.51719/

Things I'm Trying...

So anyway... Well, so much has gone on that I wouldn t know where to start; so I m just going to start wherever I can and see what happens. Okay so, since the last time I checked in, a lot has gone on. One of the biggest things is that I started organizing my life a lot more. I started using Google Calendar to keep track of my appts and eventually started filling it with work things, and bills, and basically everything. (When I can remember to.)... Things I m Trying...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/things-im-trying.51718/

Graduating, Transitioning

So I graduate in 10 weeks, and at that time, I will end counseling with my current T, with whom I ve worked for the past 4 years. I ve reached out to another T who lives a bit away, but who I wanted to work with previously and had really clicked. I m torn about the whole thing. I hadn t planned on seeking a new T at all, but my roommate and I had an intense discussion tonight, and she thinks I should work with a T just to talk about leaving my current T. I don t know...I knew I d be... Graduating, Transitioning
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/graduating-transitioning.51698/

Overwhelmed

I ve been sexually assaulted twice, once 3 years ago on a night out by a friend who wanted more and decided to spike my drink and once by an obsessive guy I was seeing at the time. It makes me ashamed that this has happened to me twice, like somehow I bring it on myself. I was diagnosed with PTSD before the second assault happened so you can imagine how much worse it is now. My boyfriend is very supportive, but I never told him the details of the second assault. He really has no idea what... Overwhelmed
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/overwhelmed.51717/

Out Of Nowhere My Husband Wants A Divorce, Not Sure What To Do.

I am by no means saying our marriage has been perfect but we haven t had a fight in almost 2 years other than the little bickering here and there. I feel like I am blindsided completely by him right now and nothing he is saying is making sense to me. I know he has had PTSD from spending time in Iraq as well as the abuse he had from his step mom growing up. He left about a month ago for some field training and came back about 2 1/2 weeks ago and out of no where said he wanted a divorce.... Out Of Nowhere My Husband Wants A Divorce, Not Sure What To Do.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/out-of-nowhere-my-husband-wants-a-divorce-not-sure-what-to-do.25930/

I Woke Up At Least 6 Times With Nightmares Last Night!

I kept feeling like all my belongings were going to be taken away from me, that God didn t love me anymore and that I was doomed. I would wake up, pray to God about it all and then fall back to sleep, to have the same or similar nightmare again and again. It was awful. Usually, when I have such nightmares, I cannot get back to sleep and I will get up and come online and write about it here. Also look for other friends here to chat with or something until I get tired again. Then head off to... I Woke Up At Least 6 Times With Nightmares Last Night!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-woke-up-at-least-6-times-with-nightmares-last-night.51715/

Long Term Therapy A Waste?

Posted this in another forum about avoidance. It was suggested to put my reply here. I talked to my therapist (yes she is a trauma therapist) and told her about my husband s anger about her pity party comment She says she never even came close to wording it that way and my mind just grasped on to a couple words and ran with it. Ugh! When I see her next week I have to tell her another dramatic event that happened to me this week with me having to put down my loving loyal 15 year old dog. I... Long Term Therapy A Waste?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/long-term-therapy-a-waste.51714/

This Time I Had The Gun

So last night i was dreaming that I was in a building with an old friend.....There was a toy speed track that got messed up and I was being blamed for it.........The I noticed a lot more ppl where gathering in the building......A big screen movie theater type thing was on and i had an Iphone, I remember a gal asking me to kill her boyfriend. I shot him several times and as i walk out the door I was in a Mall but I had been shot too....I was struggling to get to the getaway car and when I was... This Time I Had The Gun
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/this-time-i-had-the-gun.51712/

Two Sides

I apologize in advance for posting so much lately and being so far stuck up my own a**. There is a lot going on and hence, a lot for me to process. I have been in only two serious relationships in my life that involved genuine love -- one with an abuser who gave me PTSD, one with an incredibly caring, intelligent man who, unfortunately, was very emotionally immature. I have spent the past 3 years or so in love with the latter, secretly hoping to rekindle things and hanging on to that hope.... Two Sides
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/two-sides.51713/

Great Conference This Weekend

I took my kids to a writing conference this weekend because they had child care. It s been magical. I am talking to smart people about neat books! I m talking to other writers about our systems and tweaks and things that help! It s so fun. Yesterday I moderated a panel on overcoming internalized suppression as a writer. It was a rad panel. We talked about intersectional voices and why they are important. We talked about the differenced between internalized repression that other... Great Conference This Weekend
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/great-conference-this-weekend.51710/

New Trauma T

My memory is so bad I could not remember whether I d already made this thread. Now I remember that I wanted to get closer to the appointment date, lest I wound myself up too early in the game. I see my new T this Tuesday for the first time. I ve only ever had one trauma T (for roughly five years). The T I occasionally saw at my school mainly helped me put out small, immediate fires. I have so many thoughts going into this. I wanted to create this thread about a week ago, but there are so... New Trauma T
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-trauma-t.51711/

Why Is It Relationships Are Tested When One Starts Therapy?

I ve been told ( I guess anecdotally) but obviously through experience, that often relationships crash when someone with PTSD starts therapy. Apart from the obvious reasons (like perhaps going backwards whilst working through it) why is this opinion so readily held amongst people? Is it that the dynamic changes? I d have thougth the level of introspection one gains would save relationships, not destroy them.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/why-is-it-relationships-are-tested-when-one-starts-therapy.51707/

Is This An Example Of A Flashback?

Driving down the highway I come to pass a truck , as this occurs I experience vivid imagery of the truck out of control taking me out, almost like quick screenshots from a movie. I m not flashing "back" though, as I ve never had a motor vehicle accident nor a close call with a truck. This could be the same for a guard rail, bridge, intersection etc, where a "quick video" plays almost fantasizing of an accident. It s almost a Flash-forward... If that even exists. Opinions?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/is-this-an-example-of-a-flashback.51708/

Does Anyone Have A High Iq

How do you think this factors into PTSD? I wish I could find a therapist who also has a high IQ. Why? I don t know. For some reason I think they would better understand me. I feel so alone, and like I m wasting my life.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/does-anyone-have-a-high-iq.49406/

Shutting Down

I have always handled my anxiety by basically sucking it up and forcing myself to do whatever was causing the anxiety. I never wanted to set a precedent for myself by giving in to it. But today I have; I have cancelled the plans I had, declined to do the freelance work offered to me (that would ve brought me much-needed money). I can t even bring myself to walk 5 minutes to the shop. I just can t. I m shutting down. I know it is probably counterproductive but I m hanging on by a thread at... Shutting Down
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/shutting-down.51705/

Hello And But I'm Not Sure If I Have Ptsd !

Hello everybody, On this forum I see people suffer from real problem (violence, sexual, war...), but for me, It s from something stupid. Well maybe, a fear is a fear..., no matter how it happens: when your body and brain undergoes a severe emotional shock, it may cause short or long-term problems... Why I think I have PTSD ? Well, a night, something I see freaked me out, especially a loud sound: I had a bad panic attack like short breath, blocking sensation in the chest, lower abdomen,... Hello And But I m Not Sure If I Have Ptsd !
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hello-and-but-im-not-sure-if-i-have-ptsd.51706/

The Search For Insight

I was thinking about what was going on when my glass overflowed. It seems to be a blur (10 years ago) and I felt very persecuted by some. Were my perceptions that skewed at the time? I know I was circling the drain getting pulled further and further down. I wanted to ask my old boss if he could give me some perspective on that time period. I did a Google search and found he passed a few months back. I am shocked since he wasn t that old. I am feeling really dizzy. Stress reaction I suppose... The Search For Insight
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-search-for-insight.51704/

Ptsd Survey

Hey everybody, I was not entirely sure where I should post but this sub forum seems to be the correct place for me to post, but if there are any problems regarding where I posted etc please feel free to alter anything. I do not suffer from PTSD personally, but I am doing a school project about PTSD and I am currently in need of more primary sources / information. I would really appreciate it if you guys and girls could participate in this survey as it is required for the project itself and... Ptsd Survey
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/ptsd-survey.51700/

Residential Trip

Hello, 19 yo with diagnosed PTSD from childhood trauma here. I m struggling for a bit of perspective on an upcoming field trip I m due to be taken as part of my university degree. Although technically compulsory, I ve been in contact with staff and they re happy enough and able to switch me out of this field course and onto a different additional module. This is reassuring as the idea of a field trip is borderline horrible for me and I m really, really uncomfortable with the idea of... Residential Trip
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/residential-trip.51692/

Hello, I'm Back...

Hi! I don t know if any of you remember me because I haven t been here in a while. I spent the last year looking after my husband who had lung cancer. He passed away on Jan. 26. Through all that time my PTSD seemed to go away, although we all know it never goes away. I kept asking my psichiatrist to take me off my meds and she always replied "No, you just wait." And of course, she was right. The old PTSD monster has reared his ugly head again. And here I am. Luckily, I have experience... Hello, I m Back...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hello-im-back.51697/

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

2015-03-08 12:38PM - Sunny Starting my first Trauma diary in which I will document my day to day experiences, since I found out talking to my wife helped with it tremendously, I think doing this with a support group of people having the same lives can help. My introduction is [here]. It s a very long post about my childhood + youth trauma and some parts of millitary service, and also a PTSD SOP which I follow and helps me.... Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/boulevard-of-broken-dreams.51701/

Little Party

I decline most invites. This one I took though was not looking forward to it. I made some food and committed to going for a friend who was hosting. I always give myself an early out, but I stayed through the food and games and wasn t even the first person to leave. I actually enjoyed it. Now, back into my shell for a bit of rest...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/little-party.51703/

'protected' Them And Now They're Gone

As a kid I was really close with my mom, on the verge of unhealthy attachment. And I think as a kid we see our main caregiver as almost like a god. Someone who is there to protect us and take care of us as well as teach us everything we need to know. It seems like they can and will do everything for us as a kid. Now being an adult and looking back I ve come to realize that they aren t the picture of the people I painted as a kid. When bad things would happen I would make up characters ... protected Them And Now They re Gone
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/protected-them-and-now-theyre-gone.51693/

Never Had These Awful Panic Attacks Before..

I was strangled with his hand around my neck by an extremely large male who I trusted and was best friends with because I pissed him off. he grabbed me by the neck and dragged me across the room then threw me against the wall and said if i ever touched him again he would hurt me....won t go into more detail. There s a pending investigation so i m not sure if i m even allowed to be talking on these things. as long as its anonymous? There was a history of verbal abuse and manipulation but... Never Had These Awful Panic Attacks Before..
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/never-had-these-awful-panic-attacks-before.51695/

How Long Is A Ban Enacted For?

firstly i only became aware i was banned because the chat disappeared , and i am aware of the incident that caused it - it would be nice is a staff member let you know , rather than find no access via any menu8s to chat and not a word said , how long is this ban enacted for ?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-long-is-a-ban-enacted-for.51699/

Dissociation And Flashbacks

This is how it all started. I didn t get what I thought I deserved so I turned my back on God. The very day I did that I got hit with a very stigmatized OCD theme that I rather would not share. Going a month with this anxiety fueled theme I decided to smoke weed. And that s when the Gods judgment theme came. The whole time I thought I was dealing with pure o OCD. It was all a flashback of the nightmare psychosis I had when I turned twenty. I thought I was already dead and the earth was what... Dissociation And Flashbacks
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dissociation-and-flashbacks.51690/

Not Such A Birthday!

I turned 62 today and am not in real good shape at all! This has been the very worst year of my life, as my PTSD got much worse. I have no career or relationship goals left; I am retired for good, and I have the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. But I am living in constant hope I can heal some day and experience peace once more, which I haven t in years. As long as I m still breathing, anything is possible!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/not-such-a-birthday.51691/