Abandonment Triggers Everywhere

Okay, so I think this is the main thing I m trying to work on right and something that is incredibly hard to do. I know rationally that people don t try to hurt me most of the time or aren t planning to leave me. However, this doesn t stop me from noticing everything. My friend left for a game that she said we could go to together without me, No one said good morning when I came downstairs, people were unusually quiet around me at the office, etc. I can t shake it. It s small stuff that I... Abandonment Triggers Everywhere
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/abandonment-triggers-everywhere.51477/

Getting On Lists.

Hello Everyone, I was wondering, i know there are other threads out there but if anyone has recently had this therapy? I am very much interested in it. I was watching a YouTube video where this veteran was using MDMA illegally to treat his PTSD. The way he described the PTSD really took the words out of my mouth, "its like your unhuman" and "MDMA makes you human again." I am sure there is a lot of people feel this way but it seems like i forgot all my feelings. I have became emotionless and... Recent Mdma Therapy Experiences
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/getting-on-lists.51475/

Arm Shaking

This happens in therapy...we are assuming a sort of stuck or "freeze" response....wanting to push away or shield myself, while simultaneously wanting to connect (confusion of abuse coming from primary caregiver). So we re trying to separate out these impulses so that I don t have to feel stuck with that shaking and stuck in general. I haven t gotten very far but that s basically what that s about. Not sure if anyone relates to that sort of body response. But now sometimes my arm is shaking... Arm Shaking
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/arm-shaking.51473/

Not Sure Where To Start

I ve been a member since my wife (of almost 12 years) had her first flashback in 2012, but this is my first time posting. In the last few months her new memories have been dragging up child abuse of unfathomable depravity and at an increasing rate to the point where she has no time to recover from one to the next, and each seems to bring up something even more disturbing than the last. I can;t even comprehend some of the things that happened to her, but they just keep coming. Her triggers... Not Sure Where To Start
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/not-sure-where-to-start.51474/

Survived

Well i made it. I did take your afvice and took one step at a time and went in to my first day at the partial hospital program. It was intense and hard and emtionally exhausting but i did it. I white knuckled my way thru my anxiety and panic and got thru the day and everyone seemed very supportive. I just need to meet with psych on monday to talk about meds... I think i need something.., But thank you to everyone who replied to me... I needed all your words of help and encouragement!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/survived.51472/

Strange Energy Experience

OK, this is probably going to sound really weird, but here goes. We ve seen it all anyway, eh? A couple of years ago my T did with me what she called a Centering exercise. We stood face to face and did a guided meditation for a few minutes, then she told me to look at her. Well, for one thing, my eye contact in therapy sucks, so this was a big deal all on its own. When I did look at her, I felt a wave of energy come from her heart, up out of her mouth, saw it cross the room, then it entered... Strange Energy Experience
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/strange-energy-experience.51469/

Ptsd, Control And Rules

Just wondered if other supporters experience this. The longer I am with my guy, the more rules he seems to implement concerning what behaviour is acceptable in his house/presence. I understand that this is an attempt to control his environment to avoid things that make him anxious. He s explained this, and I can kind-of relate, as I have acted a bit like that at times in the past, when my anxiety was very bad. Some of them are reasonable rules (e.g. don t drive any closer to the car in... Ptsd, Control And Rules
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/ptsd-control-and-rules.51470/

6 Year Anniversary

Recently, my husband has been gone working more, and I feel more stressed in having to take care of our more difficult child. She is the age I was during abuse, and I love her so much. This is causing real stress for me. I ve noticed that during the day with all that I do, I start dissociating and suddenly feel like my hands are dirty. I just feel "dirty." And I can t recall washing up. I just cant focus and remember if I washed them just now or not. Even from walking out of the restroom.... Ocd Responses While Dissociating
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/6-year-anniversary.51466/

Will It Ever Be Over???

2 flashbacks this week. One is new, one is one that I get off and on. I went almost one month without flashbacks or nightmares. Why? When will these be over with?! Ugh, sorry guys I am just in a very sour mood. My migraines have upped their intensity again and apparently so has my PTSD. The new flashback came after I got a call from a debt collector. He was pulling the threatening strings of "This will go to legal standing if you don t pay by Friday." My mind thought that meant going to... Will It Ever Be Over???
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/will-it-ever-be-over.51465/

Annual Donation Goal Changes

Everyone should be quite aware of the wonderful outcome recently achieved, reaching a US$3000 donation goal in just 5 days. This achievement allows us to prepay the server costs for an entire year. As a result of doing this, we also got a 10% discount, and Nicolette and I make-up the difference between the goal achieved and the actual cost approximately $3200. Basically, we got a month and a bit free by doing this. With the server costs covered, we can now adequately maintain the other... Annual Donation Goal Changes
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/annual-donation-goal-changes.51462/

Further To Movies Thread...what Have Been Your Best And Worst Ptsd Movie Experiences?

Or any movie that kinda portrays mental health, services or PTSD. I have to say, I HATED Ordinary People. I was shown it and in the middle of it I left the screening and ended up self-harming to the point that I found it difficult to walk for a few days. I know it is held up as a great mental health film but it really really negatively affected me. I loved the end of Empire of the Sun, I teared up when I saw it at 16. I also like Slumdog millionare and how he rises above his traumatic... Further To Movies Thread...what Have Been Your Best And Worst Ptsd Movie Experiences?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/further-to-movies-thread-what-have-been-your-best-and-worst-ptsd-movie-experiences.51463/

Is Relationships Realistic For Someone Like Us?

After leaving my ex husband 2 years ago I was against getting in any new relationships. It worked for me just having a guy friend, if he got attached I d leave. Somehow I ended up getting serious with a good guy. Nothing like I ve ever had. He is by no means weak, but I ve taught him some jujitsu, how to properly shoot...and he s trying to teach me to let someone in. But he comes from another world. Never seen a friend die, been abused and raped, fight for survival, be the one that has to... Is Relationships Realistic For Someone Like Us?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/is-relationships-realistic-for-someone-like-us.49325/

Ocd Responses While Dissociating

Recently, my husband has been gone working more, and I feel more stressed in having to take care of our more difficult child. She is the age I was during abuse, and I love her so much. This is causing real stress for me. I ve noticed that during the day with all that I do, I start dissociating and suddenly feel like my hands are dirty. I just feel "dirty." And I can t recall washing up. I just cant focus and remember if I washed them just now or not. Even from walking out of the restroom.... Ocd Responses While Dissociating
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/ocd-responses-while-dissociating.51464/

6 Year Anniversary

Today marks my 6th year anniversary since becoming a member here and I wanted to thank everyone from the members to the staff for being so supportive of my healing journey. I remember how hard it was for me to write my introduction and to post my first threads. I would log out after posting and anytime I saw Anthony was on the site I would leave immediately for fear I had done something wrong. I feared public humiliation like the plague. I was so deeply afraid of being ostracized. I have... 6 Year Anniversary
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/6-year-anniversary.51461/

What Do You Think About Mental Health Blogs?

In some ways I really like them, but for other reasons - they really annoy and frustrate me, a lot. Why I like them It s nice to read someone elses experience If you are trying to pluck up courage to see a T for the first time They can make you hopeful They make it easier for others to be open Why they really annoy me Bloggers who aren t trained professionals writing about something medical that they do not know enough about outside their own experience Bloggers going on... What Do You Think About Mental Health Blogs?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/what-do-you-think-about-mental-health-blogs.51459/

How Common Would You Say Trauma Is?

Okay, this is such a big big open question. I m always a bit embarrased to be up front and say to friends that I went to therapy not for depression, not for anxiety, not for an eating disorder but for trauma and self harm. That yes, while trauma resulted in depressive and anxious symptoms which I thought were the problem. But after a few sessions I learned that my hunch was right all along, the main reason I was the way I was was because of the way I was treated as a child. I was... How Common Would You Say Trauma Is?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-common-would-you-say-trauma-is.51460/

Rip Leonard Nimoy

I ve always been a science fiction geek. I ll admit it, proudly. Some of the best schools of thought I ve encountered through it. The takes on modern day issues translated into sci fi have really struck at the heart of society. One of the better ones out there (and yes, I still think it was cheesy) is Star Trek. Today marks the passing of one of the actors to one of my favorite science fiction characters: Leonard Nimoy, best known for his role as the Vulcan 1st Officer named Spock of The... Rip Leonard Nimoy
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/rip-leonard-nimoy.51458/

Which Movies Portray Ptsd In A Respectful Way?

Based on some non PTSD related items I bought Amazon suggested a movie called "The Lucky One" to me... which I have no watched so far... but maybe will because I love kitschy woman s movies... but I have to ask my husband first. However... both main characters in the movie seem to have PTSD if my info is right... how do you think about PTSD being the background story for a cheesy love story? Which movies about PTSD do you like?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/which-movies-portray-ptsd-in-a-respectful-way.51457/

The Neighbors Let Their Dog Into My Yard

Hi. My next-door neighbors have a large large dog. We have a chain link fence between our yards, but the trouble is that it is not at the property line. It is about 4-6 in from the edge. The previous house owners did that because there is a row of trees between the yards. So we own about 6 feet of land on the other side of the fence. I don t like our neighbors. They scare me. They are these two big women (think jail security guard) and are really coarse and loud. They keep... The Neighbors Let Their Dog Into My Yard
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-neighbors-let-their-dog-into-my-yard.51456/

Summer Sad And Ptsd

Hi. I have PTSD from childhood bullying. I am fiercely territorial and hate it when people invade my space. Also, I am fearful of noise from unknown sources, like when I m inside and someone starts their car up, I have to find out who it is so I can feel safe again. I m like a horse who functions almost totally by flight or fight. I have been in T for 2 years. It has helped me a great deal. I m dreading (like every year) the onset of spring. Even though it has been BRUTALLY cold... Summer Sad And Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/summer-sad-and-ptsd.51455/

I Dont Think My Wife Likes Me

I really don t think my wife likes me. There are times I feel as though she is from a higher class then me. I had to stay home from work yesterday and when I woke up this morning I felt sick to my stomach and I was dizzy trying to walk to living room. She asked how I was doing and I told her. She flew out of her chair and started to yell at me that she wished she at a job where she could work 40 hours. I can t remember what else she complained about. I just sat there frozen and telling her... I Dont Think My Wife Likes Me
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-dont-think-my-wife-likes-me.51454/

Freaking Out

I start my partial hospitalization program today and am freaking out. Ive never done anything like this and im afraid of group therapy..i dont want peopleto judge me or make fun of me. Im kind of freaking out in the parking lot and want to drive away. I feel like i really am the loser who needs to get her head out of her ass like my attacker told me i am... Oh God
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/freaking-out.51452/

Free Help, Resources & Tips?!

(I considered putting this on the "Therapy" forum, but I don t really just want advice on therapy alone.) I am unemployed and a full-time student (online at home). I have 3 surgeries in the next month, plus EMDR, which is also very pricey. My wonderful boyfriend has been the one who has been supporting us both, but my medical bills are skyrocketing since the healthcare changes. I (we) cannot afford to do weekly (or possibly biweekly), therapy sessions. So in the time between them, I was... Free Help, Resources & Tips?!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/free-help-resources-tips.51448/

Somewhat Funny Hypervigilance Story

I currently have two blocked up ears, one quite severely (an ear infection that hasn t gone away). After I washed my hair this morning, I wrapped my hair up in a towel covering my ears in the process. As I was getting ready, I kept hearing a knocking sound. I got scared. Who was it coming from in my house or outside? I bravely checked around. Now that the towel is off, I realize the fluid in my ear is making a knocking sound and that with the towel on I thought it was coming from... Somewhat Funny Hypervigilance Story
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/somewhat-funny-hypervigilance-story.51449/

Studies

I find that there are so many conflicting conclusions with studies. It hurts my head at times. One study firmly says this another firmly states not a chance this . Each seems to have valid data to back it up. So the question is, how do you actually determine the good from the bad? If a study makes sense to you do you apply it to see if it works for you? Do you latch onto conclusions based on a study as gospel truth? When you research, do you research many angles of studies... Studies
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/studies.51446/

So So Angry.

my partner of 7 yrs tonight ranted to me that he thought I was abusive!! he said that me over ruling him when it came to the kids constitutes abuse and I am too passive aggressive to live with! WTF? He thinks he knows what abuse is??!!! SO PISSED OFF!!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/so-so-angry.51447/

Anxiety Makes Me Feel Uncomfortable In My Skin/clothing

This is such a weird symptom but I think my anxiety sometimes gives me a tingly feeling on my skin primarily around my shoulders and chest and my shirt and under clothes feel so intensely uncomfortable all I can think of is getting them off. I had a long day of meetings today sitting down and went to class straight from there so I don t know if I just couldn t sit still any longer but I felt so restless like I needed to leave go for a run to release the extra anxious energy inside me. I... Anxiety Makes Me Feel Uncomfortable In My Skin/clothing
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/anxiety-makes-me-feel-uncomfortable-in-my-skin-clothing.51445/

Hello - New From Tx

Hi All, I found a thread from a google search and am really glad I found this community. I m in therapy for PTSD right now. I look forward to learning about you and sharing my story. Nobody that hasn t experienced this understands it.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hello-new-from-tx.51444/

Dating A Man With Ptsd

I m new here and I read so many posts on this page that gave me hope again.. I met a man online about three months ago. We started texting / talking and got deeper into it very quick. When we re around each other we re very comfortable, but I m always making sure he s ok with me touching and hugging. He s very affectionate, but he said he adapts. He sees me being very loving, so he s the same. He told me upfront that he has serious demons and that whenever he sees someone getting closer,... Dating A Man With Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dating-a-man-with-ptsd.50060/

Just When The Symptoms Were Quiet Again:

I had to block a guy I started dating because he wouldn t take no for an answer, after I found out things about him that are on my red flag list. Luckely I was smart enough to wait and I didn t sleep with him. But he didn t like me telling him I didn t want to hang out anymore, he practically begged me for another chance. It really freaked me out and although I blocked his number/fb and such- I was still looking out my window every few minutes checking to make sure he wasn t there.... Just When The Symptoms Were Quiet Again:
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/just-when-the-symptoms-were-quiet-again.51443/