Life Has Scared The Shit Out Of Me

Ok so my issues start about 3 years ago when my father became very ill. It’s a very long story that im not going to retell cause it will be way to long. But to cut it short. He got ill and the doctors didn’t know why and he just kept getting worse and worse. He had several small strokes that kept coming back and causing his body to shut down. He couldn’t walk, he couldn’t go to the bathroom by himself, he couldn’t feed himself. He was confused like a demented person, he was slipping away. All... Life Has Scared The Shit Out Of Me
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/life-has-scared-the-shit-out-of-me.50590/

Thoughts Of Suicide Related To Fear

I know suicide is a bad idea, there s no need to convince me of that. But I think about it increasingly and it isn t about being depressed (although I am). It s about fear. Ironically, about fear of not knowing how to survive. There s a raw, agonizing fear that goes beyond all my stress-reduction abilities because it s real. I ve gotten stuck in a place where I don t know what to do to make my financial situation more stable and secure and it s eating away at me. What I really want is... Thoughts Of Suicide Related To Fear
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/thoughts-of-suicide-related-to-fear.50589/

A Possibly Helpful Model Structural Dissociation And Childhood Trauma

Here is what I ve learned in the last few days: Human beings are not born emotionally integrated - we have different basic emotional systems (neurologically based) and it is an achievement of development to integrate them. As an analogy, when we are born, the images from our two eyes are not integrated. It is hard to say what babies see exactly but it is not a 3-D image like adults. Given a sufficiently rich environment with lots of motor and visual and tactile feedback those two images... A Possibly Helpful Model Structural Dissociation And Childhood Trauma
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/a-possibly-helpful-model-structural-dissociation-and-childhood-trauma.48575/

Introduction Time

After a lifetime of confusion, I returned from my initial meeting with my counselor that I have been rehearsing in my head for most of my life. Of the endless possibilities, what I learned was indeed unexpected. My trauma started at age 5. I am 47 now. In that span of time (of which I recall less than 50% of) I have compiled several traumatic events, resulting in a quite complex array of behaviors that confuse, torment, anger and overwhelm me, to say the least. I am at the point where I... Introduction Time
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/introduction-time.50588/

Is It Normal For Your Thoughts To Race Constantly?

Does your mind constantly race and require stimulation all the Time? I can t just do one thing at a time. When reading I ll switch between 3 - 4 articles at the same time. Simple tasks like doing the dishes are so boring I have to play a documentary in the background. When having a conversation, I get so many ideas all at once, I can t speak or write fast enough to put them down. This goes on all day, every day for as long as i can remember. From the time i wake till the moment i fall... Is It Normal For Your Thoughts To Race Constantly?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/is-it-normal-for-your-thoughts-to-race-constantly.50587/

Feeling Incomplete And Inadequate ....

So I went to this friend s farewell party tonight. There were about 60-70 people and I was sitting there on a corner looking like a place holder. I had a inner voice telling me not to go but I still went because I didn t want to rude and I was going to see him in 2 years time so it was important to go. Anyway, there were speeches going on where his step-father (never knew this until tonight) talking about him being a great son and how they will miss him. That man brought him up since his... Feeling Incomplete And Inadequate ....
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/feeling-incomplete-and-inadequate.50586/

Realized I'm Yawning Again (1st Time In 18mos)!

I m kind of excited to find myself letting out lazy, satisfying, *almost* relaxed yawns at all times of the day in the past week. At first I was like: what is that weird thing that s happening to me? But then I found myself enjoying it because yawning is really a fantastic bodily sensation—if you aren t stressing about needing to be super alert or smart or something. And it made me understand how bad things were for the prior 18 months, when I did not yawn AT ALL. It s not much, but... Realized I m Yawning Again (1st Time In 18mos)!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/realized-im-yawning-again-1st-time-in-18mos.50585/

Tricyclic Antidepressants Increase Risk Of Dementia

JAMA Internal Medicine recently published the largest study (Cumulative Use of Strong Anticholinergics and Incident Dementia) consisting 3434 participants over the age 65, looking at anticholinergics and their associated impact for an increased risk for dementia. Whilst anticholinergics cover a few areas, the one I am concerned about is tricyclic antidepressants, being a medication used to treat Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and its associated comorbid disorders. The conclusion was significant, and scary in relation to increased use of such medications, "Higher cumulative anticholinergic use is associated with an increased risk for dementia. Efforts to increase awareness among health care professionals and older adults about this potential medication-related risk are important to minimize anticholinergic use over time." Results concluded that those using anticholinergics significantly within their daily medication regime, 23% obtained dementia, of which 80% went on to furt
https://www.ptsdnews.com/item/1-tricyclic-antidepressants-increase-risk-of-dementia-alzheimers

Anyone Hate Their Therapist But Stay Anyhow?

Has anyone had negative transference towards their therapist and been able to work through it? I m in the thick of it, rather suddenly. I intensely dislike my therapist, feel angry towards her, but for reasons that have nothing to do with anything she has done or said. I can t really make a lot of sense of it, and I m trying to sort out this mess. I have been very open with her about it, and she hasn t been shaken at all. She says it s ok to even hate her at times. She says its part of the... Anyone Hate Their Therapist But Stay Anyhow?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/anyone-hate-their-therapist-but-stay-anyhow.50583/

What's The Deal With Somatorm Pain?

I ve done lots of testing for pain stuff and I do have some structural issues but the pain is sometimes seemingly out of proportion. It also makes me feel immobilized, powerless, and like I want to die. I can do some physical therapy to help with some of the more organic stuff but I don t want to neglect the complex mix of other stuff involved. My company s new insurance won t pay for my Somatic Experiencing therapy...not too surprisingly, the pain got unbearable some time after learning I... What s The Deal With Somatorm Pain?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/whats-the-deal-with-somatorm-pain.50584/

Nervousness Building Up As The Time For The Event Is Approaching. ..

I haven t been able to have good sleep last night due to this friends farewell party today. I was waking up each hour last night with nightmares about the party (basically all the things happening during childhood whenever we were invited to their parties and how mum , bro and I were always isolated in those parties). Due to all this anxiety since last couple of days I have pimples on my face. It s 2:21pm here and the party starts at 7:30pm, my heart is racing , I m getting this upset feeling... Nervousness Building Up As The Time For The Event Is Approaching. ..
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/nervousness-building-up-as-the-time-for-the-event-is-approaching.50582/

Why Don't I Have Any Memories? Did Something Happen?

Hey yall, this is my first time posting anything or telling anyone but my really good friend, so please bear with me. Although I m in mid highschool and should be able to remember, i can t remember anything from until i was 8-9 years old. From there things are pretty hazy until around 10 or 11. I used to think that was from my father leaving when i was 3 and then finally 5. My mother (who i live with now), has always been nice and a little on the demanding side and is always open in talking... Why Don t I Have Any Memories? Did Something Happen?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/why-dont-i-have-any-memories-did-something-happen.50581/

First Time Experiencing Anger In Therapy

First Time Experiencing Anger In Therapy
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/first-time-experiencing-anger-in-therapy.50580/

First Time Experiencing Anger In Therapy

Today in therapy with my therapist we did bodywork/experiencing about my childhood trauma. I started feeling sad and then I started noticing unpleasant heat in my belly then it moved through my chest. At moments it would get very intense. It was anger at my mother. It was the first time I have felt this type of sensation. Also, I was able to cry during therapy and even to discuss some of my feelings. I wasn t able to look my therapist in the eyes during this difficult feelings. Afterwords, I... First Time Experiencing Anger In Therapy
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/first-time-experiencing-anger-in-therapy.50577/

Okay So How Do You Habit/behavior Bust A Ptsd Remission?

I think I m finding myself in new territory. I m experiencing a remission. My check in s have more to do with life than my mental/emotional landscape. Not sure how to resist picking this thing apart and/or sabotage. I am fully engaging in my day to day life... managing thoughts and feelings to do what needs doing. The behavioral/habitual thing is to open the next can of worms. How can I/what do I do... to just increase the duration in the cycle? How do I use this remission to my... Okay So How Do You Habit/behavior Bust A Ptsd Remission?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/okay-so-how-do-you-habit-behavior-bust-a-ptsd-remission.50576/

Hey All....

Hey there. First off, thanks to you for this place. My name is Rich, from MN. I deployed to Mogadishu Somalia in October of 93 and was there for about 7 months. I got out in 95 and did just fine for a long time. I started having real issues in 2008, and have gotten progressively worse. Its just a lot of baggage to carry around......I am working now with the VA to put some of it down I hope. I was diagnosed in 2012 after about 10 hrs of sleep in a month and a half breakdown. Put on phsyc meds... Hey All....
https://www.mycombatptsd.com/threads/hey-all.3737/

Story-telling Game!

I came to this idea, it s a great way to express some emotions, and it can go long ways! This is a storytelling game to write out a story of a few characters, and rules will be a bit complicated maybe, but lets say this: Lets try to make the story smooth running, with a nice connected storyline, instead of jumping from a day at the beach to eg. Abducted by aliens or something completely hysterical that doesn t make sense: Just a smoother running story. Minimal input to the story... Story-telling Game!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/story-telling-game.50575/

What Self Care Do You Do To Combat Stress Ageing?

Stress is well known as a way to leave you a prematurely wrinkly pile of dead....provided it hasn t made a suicide statistic of us before then, like it nearly has done with me...... What I d like to do is share ways of caring for yourself that makes you feel good, and helps combat the physical signs of stress.... I personally started out from 100m walks, to walking 8km to interval jogging.... I eat as much veg, fruit, protein, whole grains, organic produce and supplements as I can whilst... What Self Care Do You Do To Combat Stress Ageing?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/what-self-care-do-you-do-to-combat-stress-ageing.50573/

Education Is Key

*UPDATE* I finally got a chance to speak to my bishop alone. He called me today and we had awesome talk. I now understand things a bit better. He agreed the first meeting with his supervisor was brutal and the one we just had was a lot better. He understands the value my Service Dog has for me and is grateful I have her. He now understands better about my PTSD and what she does for me.He informed me this is a new situation for everyone involved/ Jellybean is my first Service Dog and my branch... Education Is Key
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/education-is-key.50571/

Can Anxiety Cause Mania?

Hey everyone, thank you for checking out my post. I have been having some really extreme ups and downs from what I thought was my depression, and although it has not been as bad as from what I ve heard it can become from bipolar disorder I was just wondering can mania and it s over the top highs be also a symptom of extremely severe anxiety/OCD?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/can-anxiety-cause-mania.50572/

Looking For Opinions :)

Hi everyone. I haven t posted a new thread in a while, but figured I might as well get peoples thoughts on something I am contemplating. I came to the forums to learn about PTSD as I became friends with a sufferer on-line while gaming. It was a rough course at first. I eventually learned that I deal with many similar symptoms related to complex trauma as a child/teenager with attachment issues. My life has been a mess the pass couple years, I ve lost some close friends, backed away from my... Looking For Opinions
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/looking-for-opinions.50570/

Not Playing Nice...

So. I bought a condo in an old beach house that was made into six units. For four years, only the woman upstairs from me lived here year round. She is also the president of the condo association. As you can imagine, she thinks she owns the place. I park my car the wrong way, I have nowhere to put my trash, my dog is peeing in the wrong place, she interfered with the insurance agency that is selling me flood insurance, my shower trap is frozen and her solution defies the laws of physics, I got... Not Playing Nice...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/not-playing-nice.50569/

Structural Dissociation?

Structural Dissociation?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/structural-dissociation.50563/

Scrambled Brain

Scrambled Brain
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/scrambled-brain.50564/

Getting Pregnant While Dealing With Ptsd

I would like to get some thoughts on getting pregnant with PTSD. Clearly taking most meds would be an issue and I worry about prenatal stress and the mental health of the baby. I also worry about genetics passing down my predisposition to emotional pain. I also want to make sure that I give my baby 100% and do not depend on my baby for love, belonging, etc. Everyone says I would make a great mom and I have a lot of experience with babies and children. I want to get pregnant so bad but there is... Getting Pregnant While Dealing With Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/getting-pregnant-while-dealing-with-ptsd.50562/

Meds For Ptsd

Hi everyone, I was hoping to get some input, suggestions, or ideas about meds for PTSD. I know it isn t medical advice but sometimes I think hearing it from people who have experienced the effects is helpful. I am on lexapro right now and xanax as needed. The xanax works great but I m trying not to take it as much as I do. The lexapro worked really fast and did great at first but I think I was actually depressed on top of PTSD when I started and I am not anymore. Okay so I have a professional... Meds For Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/meds-for-ptsd.50561/

Meds For Ptsd

Meds For Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/meds-for-ptsd.50567/

Just When You Think You Are Getting Better

I went back on my anti anxiety medications a few months ago, and have been doing pretty well. However it seems that just when you think you are getting better, something happens/ I needed an oil change on my car, and frankly it is the pits trying to change it without a lift. I had talked with a mechanic at a local shop and he gave me a ball park price for the oil change, and I took my car there. When they called and told me my car was ready I asked how much. The girl on the phone told me that... Just When You Think You Are Getting Better
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/just-when-you-think-you-are-getting-better.50566/

Photos Of Nature Where You Live

James I love your flora and fauna thread of the desert so thought maybe I d start one where we can all post photos of our ara. Hope you don t mind! I took these yesterday on a ride at a new horse camp 1 1/2 east of where I live in NW Oregon. This time of year the fungi and mushrooms abound. I always find them so interesting. What a beautifu fall afternoon! View attachment 3704 View attachment 3702 View attachment 3701
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/photos-of-nature-where-you-live.12455/

Stupid Waste Of Space

This statment alone tells me that I am falling and falling hard I seem to be feeling destroyed and hopless. Really blue. Not sure what is driving this but I am trying really hard to no let it take over. All those horrible words in my head. Worthless piece of ....
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/stupid-waste-of-space.50559/