MyPTSD

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

"the Look Of Silence"

Does acknowledgement of harm by perpetrators help healing? Important documentary film, part of the interview is below: (democracy now!.org Mon 8/3) … And then, of course, there’s this other layer of meaning, because it follows one survivor of the killings, Adi Rukun, the main character in the film, as he goes and visits the men who killed his brother, still in power, and tries to get them to take responsibility for what they’ve done, while testing their eyes. And so emerges—he’s an... "the Look Of Silence"
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-look-of-silence.55460/

My Friend Made A Disclosure Of Sa To Me. I Promised To Stay Quiet. What Should I Do?

Tonight my friend told me that the person who hurt me also hurt them, and told me how. They only told me because I promised them I wouldn t say anything and that they trust me implicitly. They were in pieces. I am in pieces, I feel so angry and so guilty. I don t know what to do. I know they wouldn t be able to emotionally manage if I forced them to say anything or if I told anybody, but I m not sure I can hold this. I wasn t believed about this person hurting me, but now I ve found out... My Friend Made A Disclosure Of Sa To Me. I Promised To Stay Quiet. What Should I Do?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/my-friend-made-a-disclosure-of-sa-to-me-i-promised-to-stay-quiet-what-should-i-do.55461/

Sudden Muscle Spasms

So I ve never had my body react to the flashbacks this way before. It all started a week ago when I got triggered all of a sudden and the muscles from my shoulders to my lower back/abdomen area started twitching. It s like how you feel when you get really cold but aren t shivering just yet..I don t know how to explain it; it doesn t hurt but just makes me really uncomfortable. Ever since that happened, I ve been getting these muscle spasms each time I get triggered. I ve been in this... Sudden Muscle Spasms
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/sudden-muscle-spasms.55462/

Top 10 Things Not To Say To Someone With Ptsd

Here is a starter list...do you guys and gals have any other additions...serious or funny, both would be excellent. View attachment 713
https://www.mycombatptsd.com/threads/top-10-things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-ptsd.2047/

Not Sure What To Think

I have been reflecting on my past which has been filled with trauma after trauma. I got triggered big time by a friend. I know he did not mean to but some of the things he said did trigger me. We have been friends for over 20 years so he has seen my highs and my lows and he has been there for me when i felt no one else would be. We did get involved romantically and realized we were better friends then being intimate. Well the other day he started to comment about our time together... Not Sure What To Think
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/not-sure-what-to-think.55459/

Married To A Narcissist

I admit I m nervous and a bit scared to post this. I have PTSD from verbally and emotionally abusive relationships. I m in trauma therapy and discovered they were all overt narcissists. I ve also recently realized I m married to a covert narcissist. He s much more subtle than the others were but more damaging in a way. He s very controlling and manipulative but he doesn t realize it. He wants to know where I m at all the time and who I m with. He tracks what time I use the ATM and berates... Married To A Narcissist
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/married-to-a-narcissist.55458/

New Looking For Support

I have been reading posts from this site for a while and have found it so helpful. I have PTSD from sexual abuse when I was a child by my grandfather. I have a lot of vivid memories and a lot of things I don t remember about my childhood. I also was in two physically and sexually abusive relationships in my late teens and early twenties. Things were going well for 20 years or so and then a close friend of mine died from breast cancer and I started having nightmares and flashbacks again. My... New Looking For Support
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-looking-for-support.55455/

Ptsd From Abuse

I ve been reading this site for little awhile and finally found the courage to post. I have PTSD from verbally and emotionally abusive relationships and am in EMDR therapy. The therapy is helping a lot. I am hoping this forum will help as well.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/ptsd-from-abuse.55451/

Near Constant Somatic Sensations

Hi All - Now that I am less dissociative I am aware of a near constant thrumming/tingling in my arms and feet. Sometimes, throat. The sensations are accompanied by small but insistent waves of fatigue. In discussing it with my T, I think it is the hyper/hypo arousal cycle that has probably been present since the earliest trauma (incest/sexual abuse from age 2 or 3). Awareness of this has been going on for months now. I would like to know if this sounds familiar to anyone else. The... Near Constant Somatic Sensations
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/near-constant-somatic-sensations.55452/

Near Constant Somatic Sensations

Does anyone else get lost due to dissociating? Up until recently I always thought of it as an adventure. I never knew where I d end up. Now it s another story. It has been becoming worse as I dissociate for longer periods of time. Recently I was assaulted while on public transportation. I have no memory of it because I was zoned out. However someone recorded it, and turned it into police. I have a wonderful therapist who I am working with, but we have yet to come up with a strategy of some... Getting Lost
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/near-constant-somatic-sensations.55454/

Getting Lost

So Lost!

Hello, I m new here. found this site by accident really and thought maybe I could get some good advice from others who know what I m going through. As if having ptsd wasn t bad enough. When I came back I lost my brother in a car accident, my dad who also suffers from ptsd vanished ( which recently he was found but was gone for years). I feel like I am on a emotional rollercoaster. I have a beautiful wife and two kids. My wife has suffered because of me. I shut her out, hurt her feelings,... So Lost!
https://www.mycombatptsd.com/threads/so-lost.4014/

Ruined A Good Thing

Finally met a great guy who treated me really well and could ve offered me everything I want. And there was potential for a real relationship with a future. But I ruined it. Got very very drunk and was downright nasty to him, even hit him. I am so deeply ashamed and I hate myself for this. I don t think I will ever be able to forgive myself. Clearly I know I have to quit drinking. But now I ve lost someone I was quickly falling in love with. Worse yet, I ve hurt him.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/ruined-a-good-thing.55450/

Soylent

Hey So last week I discovered the concept of Soylent. An all in one nutrional meal, which is supposed to be cheap and affordable, and that you could basically live exclusively on. It is designed to give you everything you need, like the slime from the matrix. But not disgusting. There are many brands of it, but Soylent was the first, so thats the name of the idea now. That they named it after the famous movie was supposed to be a joke I guess. They guarentee its not made of people.... Soylent
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/soylent.54458/

Do You Tend To Overspend?

I have had several overspending sprees throughout my life. I will try to be frugal and for awhile I can manage this. Then sometimes I get these wild urges to buy things. Sometimes I cannot prevent myself from buying them. Then my budget is all messed up and I end up not being able to buy something essential. Does this ever happen to you?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/do-you-tend-to-overspend.55449/

Prednisone

No, its not a medication used to treat PTSD but being on it for other conditions can seriously increase PTSD symptoms. I just want to give people the heads up. If your Dr. recommends it for any health issues, ask about alternatives first. I thought the increase in anxiety and nightmares would ease up once I was off of it. I am 3 days into withdrawal now and I have been barley able to function. I was warned that being on it would increase my PTSD symptoms, but no one warned me about the... Prednisone
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/prednisone.55447/

New Body-mind Approach

My T is concentrating on the concussions I ve had. There have been six that are documented or happened when I was a young adult. Yesterday we tackled the one that is documented but I couldn t remember until last week. It involved tumbling during PE in second grade. My teacher demanded I try a vault jump, without a spotter of course - it was the 70s, and my arm gave way, I tumbled to the cement floor and was knocked out. The school did not inform my parents and they didn t believe it was... New Body-mind Approach
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-body-mind-approach.55448/

Parent Responses To Teen Suicide Attempt?

Hi everyone, I attempted suicide when I was a teenager. The hospital required me to see a child psychologist in an outpatient appointment. My Mum drove me to the appointment, and in the carpark told me not to say anything about what happens at home, or the fact that I used to cut myself, on the basis that the psychologist will only want to blow things out of proportion and will be out to ruin my father s career; and that we will be put into care i.e. the whole family would be destroyed.... Parent Responses To Teen Suicide Attempt?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/parent-responses-to-teen-suicide-attempt.55446/

Tired Of It Always Being My Fault

I don t know what to do anymore, everything makes him angry. Today it s me. He s finally in therapy and I thought we were at least doing a little better, but I guess not. I was on the phone with my best friend too long and bothered him. He s back into his world of video games ignoring me. It s so hard, I feel like I have no one to turn to. I m supposed to be planning our wedding and whenever stuff like this happens I get scared. I know he ll come and apologize and say he loves me, but this... Tired Of It Always Being My Fault
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/tired-of-it-always-being-my-fault.55445/

Monday, 3 August 2015

Happy Birthday To My Eldest Son

My eldest son (M) turns twenty years old today. I would simply like to wish him a great birthday as he turns from a teenager into a fully grown man in his own right. I know that there has been a lot of pain and hurt between myself and him these last 2 years since my breakdown (for which I take full responsibility) and make no escuses for my behaviour back then. I hold onto the hope that one day we can reconsile with each other as he is my first born and will always hold a special spot in... Happy Birthday To My Eldest Son
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/happy-birthday-to-my-eldest-son.55443/

Talking With New Therapist Triggered Me Today.

I had to explain my trauma to the third therapist in less than a year, and it triggered my anxiety through my Klonopin dose. I feel really uncomfortable tonight, scared, and I have been crying a lot.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/talking-with-new-therapist-triggered-me-today.55442/

Triggered By A Movie

Tonight I curled up with my hubby to watch a movie I d never seen before but had always wanted to see. We were watching the movie together and everything was fine until about half way through. In the scene the main character was stripped and lead to a room where clearly she did not want to go. I totally freaked out. I had to leave the room and when my husband came and found me I was curled up in the corner shaky and crying. To his credit he reassured me that it was ok and he reminded me... Triggered By A Movie
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/triggered-by-a-movie.44920/

He's Here...

...and as expected, it s not been a lot of fun for me. Today was day 1, and it was super weird and awkward, at least for me. He walked over to my team s area a few times, said hi to everyone but me, and we pretty much ignored each other. I didn t even look at him directly, because I didn t want to give him the satisfaction! We didn t even say hi or anything. A couple of people who knew we had been friends asked me about it (one guy called it a "lover s quarrel" to which I replied, "no,... He s Here...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hes-here.55441/

Pet Photos

I love cute pet photos...here are a couple of mine. First is Hank (left) and Misha (right), then there s one of our dog with Santa Claus. Doesn t he look thrilled?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/pet-photos.2314/

One Wish!

All my life all I wanted was for someone to love me. I was not an attractive man nor am I now. I always urn-ed for someone to love me how I loved them. With depression, PTSD, Bi-Polar, and Socially Anxiety Disorder I am afraid that will never come about. I have been married twice and both times I was lied to and cheated on because they could not handle my conditions. To tell the truth I was miserable but I still did my best to love them. I guess it really wasn t love, people who love... One Wish!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/one-wish.55439/

Do Any Of You Think In Emotional Feelings?

This may be a weird question. Honestly Im not sure if its pretty common or its not so thats why I wanted to post. A lot of times when Im not feeling at my best I think in emotional feelings. Its like the physical reactions that emotions produce or a memory of facial changes while experiencing the emotion. For an example I had an emotional reaction with my T more distressed than anything else. I remember my my face changed slightly and a physical dropping feeling in my chest. I keep going... Do Any Of You Think In Emotional Feelings?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/do-any-of-you-think-in-emotional-feelings.55438/

Is Talk Therapy The Answer?

Hi everyone. I hope you are having a wonderful start to the week! I ve quickly gathered that many PTSD sufferers out there are dissatisfied with their therapist. I am one of them, but I am feeling doubts about what to do, or if I should return at all. In March, I started taking Paxil and visiting a therapist weekly, following a visit to the psychiatrist who diagnosed me with PTSD. At this time, I was at a low point with my symptoms (my father suddenly passed away in October and I fell into... Is Talk Therapy The Answer?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/is-talk-therapy-the-answer.55436/

Favorite Movies

Click with...(Adam Sandler), (Kate Beckinsale), (Christopher Walken) ......high-concept comedy Did not know what to think at first, and then Wow!...thouroughly enjoyed the humor and lesson from within this movie. Funny & Quite powerful for me to watch, tonight...laughed, cried, and learned.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/favorite-movies.1277/

Feels Like My Heart Stops, I Jolt Awake. Extremely Terrifying

Over the past few years, this weird occurrence has happened to me occasionally. When I am laying in bed, I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. I get this weird feeling like my heart is stopping or has stopped for a second, and I jolt awake and my heart starts racing. This consistently happens every minute for about 2-3 hours before I eventually pass out. It is extremely terrifying. Over the past few years, its only happened a few times, but in the past 2 weeks it has been happening... Feels Like My Heart Stops, I Jolt Awake. Extremely Terrifying
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/feels-like-my-heart-stops-i-jolt-awake-extremely-terrifying.25026/

Symptoms Of Ptsd

Ok, so I am a 21 year old girl who was recently diagnosed with PTSD from sexual assault. The event happened about 9 months ago. Anyways, ever since the event, I have struggled with a lot of anxiety and depression. I have only had two visual flashbacks that I can remember and it was when I was engaged in sexual... Symptoms Of Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/symptoms-of-ptsd.55435/