Why Do Horrible Things Happen ?

Why do horrible things happen, who gets to choose? It s like a dice with numbers on it and someone throws it and bad stuff happens ? I live in fear, I live waiting, I live for it to be my number, I am not even living anymore as I m so busy worrying, waiting! Thinking my number should have been, it s just hours, days waiting for my number. I m bad so it s going to be my number next, I am not living, so scared just so scared.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/why-do-horrible-things-happen.55413/

Roller Coaster Relationship

Hello! I found this forum last week, and I want to tell you my story, in order to get any piece of advice/support. I m dating with my girlfriend (we both 24) for an year and a month now, and we are about to marry. However, when time goes, it feels more and more hard for me to deal with her PTSD and depression (or bipolar), and I feel like a mess... I feel that our relationship is like a roller coaster, it is NOT boring at all, but it is hard as well. She is a wonderful girl, very... Roller Coaster Relationship
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/roller-coaster-relationship.55409/

be[e] blessed

As the deer pants for the water so my soul longs after you … (Psalm 42:1) I am thirsty for […]
https://ptsdblog.com/reconstructing/bee-blessed/2414/

Shout, Shout, Let It All Out. These Are The Things I Can Do Without..

Do you have one or more pet peeves in life that anger, irritate, or trigger you? For some reason, people smacking their lips loudly really gets under my skin. I believe it may remind me of my abusive step-parent from long ago, not sure.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/shout-shout-let-it-all-out-these-are-the-things-i-can-do-without.55411/

Before I Jump Into Another Trap..

I need bit of help before starting my next job hunt as you have already heard the news about the company not wanting me with them anymore. I was working as a Data analyst for almost 6 months with this Civil and environmental engineering company. My qualifications are: Master of chemical engineering, BSc (Hons) in chemistry, BSc in Statistics and Chemistry. It is ridiculous that I could not find a job for 18 months having all that qualification and working throughout my student life with... Before I Jump Into Another Trap..
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/before-i-jump-into-another-trap.55412/

Lifestyles Of The Poor And Misanthropic

Does anyone have trust and abandonment issues that are so severe, that is leads to feeling misanthropic? I have seen humans do so many terrible things, that I often can t help but feel that way. It doesn t mean that I am a cruel person, I am actually the opposite. But, I recognize that the world isn t all sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. And that humanity s nature can be very cold, selfish, and cruel. I have focused my love on providing care for animals, because of their purity, innocence... Lifestyles Of The Poor And Misanthropic
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/lifestyles-of-the-poor-and-misanthropic.55410/

Re-traumatised - Depression - S I -now Anxiety & Meds Question

I was doing well last year. My mother died in August. ( A relief). This exposed me to my toxic family again and I tried to heal the wounds for over six months. Then cut off contact again after witnessing their distorted, thinking all over again. My brother s sexual abuse of me and predatory behaviour of my girlfriends was raised within the family and it all turned to denial and a shit storm. The result of all this was a spiral down into a deep depression, then SI about 6 or 8 times a... Re-traumatised - Depression - S I -now Anxiety & Meds Question
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/re-traumatised-depression-s-i-now-anxiety-meds-question.55408/

What Was Your Nightmare

Okay so i have been told to write my nightmares down. So I thought I would create a tread so people could write their dreams down if you wish. So after drifting off after being in the chat room. I move straight into the middle of an old town and I am aware I have to hide quickly. Other wise something will get me I can t say what the something is only that I m terrified. I run through the damp streets finding others in the same situation. So after hours of peering and sneaking we locate a... What Was Your Nightmare
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/what-was-your-nightmare.54040/

Is This A Normal Flashback, Can Anyone Relate?

ive only had one flashback that I would describe as severe but it scared the f*cking shit out of me. I have some ptsd from being molested as a kid. the one bad flashback I had I felt like it was happening again and couldn t stop crying and telling him to stop, felt like I would do anything to make it stop, and I felt like it wasn t my voice that was talking and crying and shit. just couldn t stop crying and saying no, but I didn t feel like it was me talking or crying at the same time. has... Is This A Normal Flashback, Can Anyone Relate?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/is-this-a-normal-flashback-can-anyone-relate.55407/

Living In Traumatic Situation

I have ptsd from childhood abuse and have been in therapy for 37 years trying to heal the damage. Two years ago my niece died tragically. It was deemed a wrongful death due to hospital error. My sister fell apart and came up from Tennessee to ny with my niece s son who was three. My sister was very sick and not expected to live long and since my wife and i are too old to take him my wife s daughter and husband offered to adopt him. We got hooked up with a family center and got therapy for... Living In Traumatic Situation
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/living-in-traumatic-situation.55405/

Cop Just Got Shot

I heard them blocking off interstate for ambulance on scanner. All they know is critical condition but getting shot makes it critical condition. Don t know anything now. I m real upset. It s bring up a lot of old memories and feelings. Y all pray.....
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/cop-just-got-shot.55406/

Philosophical Question Re: Nature Of Truth

I have a complex question about the nature of meaning and truth in relationships that s troubled me. Regarding simple matters, the dichotomy of truth versus fact is helpful as a way of rethinking my reactions to assorted events. This dichotomy stated simply like this: you can change facts with opinions but not facts with opinions. Taking reality on reality s terms means trying to apply this measuring stick: (I.e. Opinions with absolutely no basis in fact are called bullshit). I have... Philosophical Question Re: Nature Of Truth
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/philosophical-question-re-nature-of-truth.55404/

Please Delete A Repeat Entry

Under Lionheart s thread, What PTSD Symptom Bothers Uou The Most", please delete my second entry. I thought that my initial entry (the longer one) didn t get entered/posted. But after a few moments, and the download occurred, I saw my first entry. No need for the second entry. Thanks.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/please-delete-a-repeat-entry.55402/

Feeling Time Pass

ladt week in therapy, I mentioned to my therapist that I m very aware that I have become able to predictable sense of the passage of time. I used to just lose days, weeks, years. I d run into someone I think I haven t seen for months and then they told me we just got together two weeks ago. But lately a day feels like 24 hours, a week feels like a week. Clearly, I am significantly less dissociative. My therapist told me this is a HUGE step forward.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/feeling-time-pass.55403/

Thought You Might Like This Picture Of The Moon

this was taken (not by me) of the moon rising over the Mackinac bridge. It is the bridge that spans the Mackinac straits where Lake Michigan and lake Huron (The great lakes) in Michigan
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/thought-you-might-like-this-picture-of-the-moon.55401/

Will The Dark Undercurrent Ever Change?

Hello I had some amazing days, and feel better then ever. Even managed to do something that I havent done for over a year (dont wanna jinx it by naming it hehe) and two nights in a row I could explore something that I had forgotten. Calmness. I havent been this calm for a decade now, which is saying a whole lot seeing that I am only 28 years old. I managed to focus some and think clearly and it all renewed hope. I realized, that this feeling of calmness and freedom of mind is what it... Will The Dark Undercurrent Ever Change?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/will-the-dark-undercurrent-ever-change.55398/

Do I Need Therapy?

My husband has PTSD and I know being a supporter I can have problems because of it but when do you know if you need help to? I like this forum page because it is helpful knowing I am not the only one going through this. But sometimes I just wanna scream!!! I don t know how to deal with him sometimes, I think talking to someone might help but not sure? Sorry if just going on, nice to let it out. I get so mad sometimes because I cant be mad, short temper, or just irritable without him getting... Do I Need Therapy?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/do-i-need-therapy.55399/

How Do You Handle The Debbie Downers?

How do you handle the people who are constantly telling you the "obvious"? "He s not good for you" or "He s unstable" or "This will never work out" or "Are you sure he isn t cheating on you" or whatever other obnoxious question and badgering session that it brings? I recognize that my family and friends have concerns for me. I know that this relationship is difficult. Most of this stems from my BF s Facebook, from which he blocked me. I don t care. He has bigger issues right now than... How Do You Handle The Debbie Downers?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-do-you-handle-the-debbie-downers.55400/

Thanks Everyone!

i really appreciate you being by my cyber side while I figure things out.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/thanks-everyone.55396/

The Semicolon Project

I wanted to share this blog post, but I can t just post it for some reason. So, spelled out, google the following: hpwritesblogs on wordpress. I love the concept of the semicolon. I hope it helps inspire yet another individual struggling with depression, PTSD-based or otherwise.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-semicolon-project.54416/

Getting Triggered By What Others See As Sweet, Wonderful Things?

Does anyone else have triggers that are of sweet, loving, beautiful things? For example, I was shown a newborn kitten yesterday, and it triggered me deeply, I won t go into it but I ve seen horrible sights with newborn kittens... But it has a different air to it, because everyone else around you is like, "awwww, how precious, how adorable" and you are like, freaking out.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/getting-triggered-by-what-others-see-as-sweet-wonderful-things.55395/

Justifying Long Term Therapy

Short post on a big topic. Anyone who I have told about my therapy can t get their head around the fact I go to a longer term therapy. Even when they know why I go. They say I should just go to CBT and everything would be sorted. We all know that that just isn t a thing for trauma people. I need a weekly T session to heal but also to manage my life.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/justifying-long-term-therapy.54144/

Prazosin And Ativan

With my insomnia back, in high gear and very little impact from either JUST Prazosin OR Ativan, my therapist suggested yesterday that I combine the two. I wound up taking the Prazosin EARLY (so I could be functional by about 8am today) and the Ativan about an hour before I wanted to go to bed. I THINK it worked. An hour after I took the Ativan I was took goofy to walk a straight line. I "slept" for 8 hours. I wear a garmin which tracks my movement. I never got "still" for longer than a few... Prazosin And Ativan
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/prazosin-and-ativan.55394/

Supporter Video Series

This is a series of 18 short videos which walk a supporter / carer through the problems of PTSD from a spouse perspective, showing you what you need to do if you want to stay within the relationship. http://www.resolveofacaregiver.org/self-help/
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/supporter-video-series.53530/

Does Dating Make You Feel More Numb?

Following the previous advice of my therapist I ve started dating again. But instead of it feeling like its benefitting me, I feel like I get more numb with each date. It makes me feel less and less like I ever want to have a relationship again. I feel like my ability to feel attraction or even affection is just seeping away from me and I m worried it will never come back. I don t know what to do about this. I feel like I should stop dating. I don t know how I will ever find someone I can... Does Dating Make You Feel More Numb?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/does-dating-make-you-feel-more-numb.33790/

Dating When You Have Ptsd

Forgive me if I go on a rant or my writing doesn t make sense. I am very angry right now and decided to try writing my thoughts out while I was angry rather than wait until I calm down so I can "say it correctly". Well, I m back on the dating scene (which can be fun sometimes but sometimes it s a real pain). I also just recently admitted that I had PTSD even though I was... Dating When You Have Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dating-when-you-have-ptsd.24916/

Questioning Recovered Memories

For the longest time I could only remember the nightmare. It started when I was fifteen. I felt his hands on my head and I was choking and gagging. I was pretty sure it happened when I was three or four. I thought it happened in a bathroom. I remembered the curve of white like a toilet or a sink. I lived with the occasional night for almost twenty years. I kept trying to figure it out. I ve tried to figure it out for many years. I thought it might have happened at my church. I knew of a... Questioning Recovered Memories
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/questioning-recovered-memories.55393/

I Pray I Will Die In My Sleep. Does Anyone Else?

I pray this before bed and in the middle of the night. That I would have a heart attack and not survive. Or just not wake up. I have prayed that someone would murder me. Break in when I m sleeping. Or jump me on the street. But that it be a quick death. There was supposed to be a severe thunderstorm last night and my plan was to get out and start walking, hoping I would get struck by lightening. I pray these things so that I won t have to suicide. That I can get out of here but not be... I Pray I Will Die In My Sleep. Does Anyone Else?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-pray-i-will-die-in-my-sleep-does-anyone-else.54185/

Lost Soul

I don t know where and how to start. I just know that I have to. Some way. Somehow. I live in fear. I grew up in fear. My thoughts are becoming darker and darker and its worrying me. Like I said, I don t know where to begin but I will try to make it as short as possible. I don t want to give my name because I am not sure what will come of this. I m a female. I was born and raised in Brooklyn NY. Im 24 y/o. I actually still live in the same house I was raised in. I like to say that I live in... Lost Soul
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/lost-soul.55392/

Shattered

PTSD bullets included but not limited to: -Born to teen mother; 2 months early in ambulance in a blizzard; believe she was trying to get rid of me but it caused birth; she told doctors she was riding a stationary bicycle-don t believe it -Biological father did a bad heroin deal and the receivers were coming after me to kill me as an infant to get back at him; my parents moved 4 hours away -my mom tried to kill my bio father with a cast iron frying pan; he ran out the door -at 2y had an... Shattered
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/shattered.55391/