Fear

I ve realized that me recently accepting a new job in Ukraine means I am finally not capitulating to fear. I have been in a rut for the past several months, crippled by depression. I was driven by fear this whole time, afraid to do or try anything because it might end badly. I became so convinced that everything I touch turns to crap, that everything I do blows up in my face, that every person I let in turns into a monster -- that I simply stopped doing everything and anything. I was (and... Fear
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/fear.51625/

New Meds Making Me Feel Like I'm Losing My Mind

I have been put on new meds from yesterday and I m not sure how I feel about it. I feel a little out of of space, like I m not my normal self. Unaware of my surroundings, I have a little to care about. I emailed my doc and she said I should give the meds a week and I will get used to it. I have completely lost my appetite and interest. From the time I start the pill I ve been in bed mostly unaware of my surroundings. I feel like I m losing my mind. I m not sure if I should continue taking... New Meds Making Me Feel Like I m Losing My Mind
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-meds-making-me-feel-like-im-losing-my-mind.51627/

Way Out Of My Comfort Zone

So tomorrow is the day I ve got a 100 mile drive for a work training session. It s probably twice as far again as I ve ever driven in my eight years of driving, and on a motorway, which I ve never driven on before. It seems a stupid thing to get anxious about. I ve done the journey as a passenger several times. I know its not difficult, I know in reality it s not even that far, but to me it seems like I m tackling the impossible. Right now I m doing the I m not getting anxious because I m... Way Out Of My Comfort Zone
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/way-out-of-my-comfort-zone.51597/

Reframing Fear Of Going To Work

Hi - Does anyone have any suggestions for reframing thinking in response to being afraid to go back into the workforce? I ve had a few bad experiences with supervisors in the past and now I seem to be stumped by my fears of being re-traumatized and abused again by people and their baggage. My latest experience ended last fall; however, I m still having anger and flashback responses to this position and the supervisor. It s kind of a toxic soup inside of my being that keeps tickling the... Reframing Fear Of Going To Work
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/reframing-fear-of-going-to-work.51624/

Positive Forward Action !

Myself @Ed Norton and @Trauma have set ourselves a task. I, for myself will purchase a nice shiny pair of Black Tap Shoes, take up proper Tap Dancing like I did in my childhood as a 44 yr old adult. Ed Norton will be taking up his drum sticks and playing drums again after a break of approx 2 years. Trauma for her young member age will be taking up swimming again after a 2 years break, For Trauma a big deal personally and an achievement she would be... Positive Forward Action !
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/positive-forward-action.51628/

Prospect Of Parenting - How Has This Helped You?

I ve been ghosting around for a little while, but this is my first thread post. Have been having several conversations with my man (sufferer) lately at his initiative about the prospect of parenting - what our philosophies of parenting are, how we want to approach issues of discipline, self-discovery, sexual maturation, protecting our future children from outside evils, etc. And I am watching him go through this whole nother layer of self-discovery and retrospective healing as he examines... Prospect Of Parenting - How Has This Helped You?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/prospect-of-parenting-how-has-this-helped-you.51626/

Support In Therapy

How does your T make you feel supported in therapy? I am currently feeling very unsupported.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/support-in-therapy.51616/

What Do You Think Of "traumatic Psychiatric Injury" Versus "mental Illness"?

I assumed I was "crazy" aka mentally ill for a while a couple years ago when the s hit the fan. I was told I was, after all, and treated for it - which did nothing for me, it certainly didn t improve my mood or attitude or outlook or resolve my deep despair and anguish over the situation. And I deeply, deeply feared and resented "mental illness" as a diagnosis, as a label, as a concept, as an entity in my life I had to deal with. "Before" things were much simpler, i had no real awareness... What Do You Think Of "traumatic Psychiatric Injury" Versus "mental Illness"?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/what-do-you-think-of-traumatic-psychiatric-injury-versus-mental-illness.51592/

Am I Being A Prude, Or Overly Sensitive?

I saw the cover of the 2015 edition of the Sports Illustrated 2015 swimsuit edition, and lets just say the model has her bathing suit panties pulled down really low. As a normal male, it is very eye appealing to me, but as I briefly looked at it, I found myself incredibly saddened. I was saddened because this young lady was willing to expose this much of herself for public view; yes she made lots of money and gained fame from it, but at what price? It saddens me that a national /... Am I Being A Prude, Or Overly Sensitive?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/am-i-being-a-prude-or-overly-sensitive.51622/

I Want To Run Away

I know that this is really needy and people on here are probably really sick of me posting but I am really struggling today with strange thoughts and I don t know what the best thing to do is. I m so overwhelmed, I have literally just left day treatment a month ago and I have really lapsed (to my shame) and I saw my therapist yesterday and she told me if end up back in hospital quickly if I don t improve soon. I ve been ill so long and I feel like a hopeless case and I want people to give... I Want To Run Away
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-want-to-run-away.51630/

Bad Timing

I start a new job in two hours and I have to leave for my college in 45 minutes, but I can barely get myself out of bed as I feel the incoming onslaught of a panic attack. I woke up under the overwhelming realization of the situation between my father and I. The part that tries to forget and continues in denial is temporarily broken and despite everything, my stupid heart still misses him. I still feel the sting and anger from my almost sister abandoning me and for some reason i still hate... Bad Timing
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/bad-timing.51589/

I Need To Talk About This.

This is my first post, and I m really afraid that I might post this in the wrong place, but oh well, here we go.. I v basically been telling myself for 10 years now that this is nothing serious, I shouldn t be upset about it. Been screaming to myself "stop it stop it stop it stop thinking about it" even though it can t be controlled. I have not let out a word, because I simply can t speak about it. I find no words, I forgot how to speak. Besides, people wouldn t listen. They wouldn t care.... I Need To Talk About This.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-need-to-talk-about-this.40925/

I Hate Everything About The Mhs-and I Need Parts Of It.

You would think the biggest trauma in my life would have been my gun wielding, volatile tempered, hateful and uber-abusive father. But no, it was being sent more or less against my will, to a psych day program a few years back. Not under any kind of imminent legal duress or whatever, but basically because a misdiagnosing quack with questionable ethics told me I had to because I was contemplating my own suicidality - and I was afraid to say "no" because I feared said quack would escalate to... I Hate Everything About The Mhs-and I Need Parts Of It.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-hate-everything-about-the-mhs-and-i-need-parts-of-it.51587/

Some Realisation On The First Day At Work...

Please feel free to move this thread and your views on this are very much appreciated It was my first day at work as you already know about it. It started of with so many self-doubts but as I went along it turned out the workload isn t that stressful and it isn t even challenging. I was told that everyone there is on contracts and their contracts are extended each time the first contract runs out. People are paid based on their education. However, one hard fact that I found out was that... Some Realisation On The First Day At Work...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/some-realisation-on-the-first-day-at-work.51588/

You Go Boy

@holdenmonty is going to write a complicated e-mail. Let s all wish him best of luck! You go, Monty!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/you-go-boy.51586/

The Angry Thread

So many of us supporters have a lot of anger about our situations, about the actions (or inaction) of the sufferers we care about, about other things in our lives that are not under our control. Especially if we re women, we are often socialized NOT to express our anger at all. And whether we re women or men, if we re close to a person with ptsd, it s usually not such a good idea to direct that anger toward the sufferer we love. Nor is it healthy to yell at our kids or our pets or family or... The Angry Thread
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-angry-thread.31209/

Should I?

I m trying. I really am. The periods of wanting to die are getting harder and the peroid of being sort of ok are getting shorter. I don t know what to do. I ve started an email and a text to my therapist a couple of times but I don t know what to say. "Hey, T, I m feeling suicidal"? or maybe "I m thinking it may be time to kill myself but I need a plan"? Maybe go for a little gallows humor? I don t know. Maybe I shouldn t bother. I mean, he knows. He said he knew this morning. So I don t... Should I?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/should-i.51584/

I Wonder What Made Me This Way

A discussion about Criterion A stressors on another thread got me thinking about a question I ve mused over for a while. I have a few of them. Criterion A stressors, that is. I don t want to say much about them at the moment, but they date to early adulthood. There was also a situation lasting about a year when I was unable to leave my abuser because he would not let me take my daughter with me. My heart is pounding as I write this, feeling I don t have the right to say this or... I Wonder What Made Me This Way
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-wonder-what-made-me-this-way.51585/

Dragging Your Spousy Back To Bed

So my guy does not like to sleep in his bed but in other places (like in the doorcase). When it is evening he often does not come to bed but has things to do. I try to get him to get to bed. Sometimes I get angry. He gets annoyed and ignores me. Any advice? I am a bit worried about his health. He is pretty fit but I think this might not be healthful.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dragging-your-spousy-back-to-bed.50381/

Am I Wrong?

I will start by saying finding a therapist since I move to my current location has been an uphill battle. I started actively trying to get into therapy in Oct. But the wait list in this area if you don t have private insurance is months. Finding a new therapist will take forever and I don t feel like I have that kind of time. Plus, I have lived in two other states and the mental health system here is so horrific, it makes the bad mental health places in other states look like a gift from... Am I Wrong?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/am-i-wrong.51582/

Triggered By My Body

A pain psychologist that I met with recently seemed to sum everything up for me in saying, "You re triggered by your body." WHOA. yeah. We weren t talking trauma details. She knew I was working with a trauma therapist, she knew my list of medical issues and major symptoms (anorexia, panic, chronic pain), and we talked about the pain a little. But just hearing in phrased that way felt like a major "duh" and also reaffirmed the somatic stuff I m working on. I don t feel like I have a... Triggered By My Body
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/triggered-by-my-body.51581/

Too Overwhelmed To Name Properly

I don t know if this will end up in a different section, but I need to try to get a few things out and I m failing with writing. I feel totally overwhelmed, exhausted, disorganized, and all of the attachment anxiety/issues. I reached out to my therapist. She has an open call/email between sessions policy. I emailed her yesterday afternoon after I got the first official response to a lawsuit I m in the early stages of (employment discrimination due to disability). I really needed some... Too Overwhelmed To Name Properly
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/too-overwhelmed-to-name-properly.51583/

Unloving Return

I ve probably sat here for an hour or two, just trying to figure out how to say what I want to say, and where to say it. I made my account here over a year ago now, and while I tried to be active at first my activity quickly died out. Even so, I ve occasionally found myself thinking about this site, even drawn to it for seemingly no apparent reason. While I was thinking about what to say though, I realized what brought me back. I hate this site. I hate this site because when I first made my... Unloving Return
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/unloving-return.51580/

Looking For Someone Who Has Been There

It s all a lot to think of an introduction. Man I don t know if I want to make this post serious or funny to lighten the mood. I guess one of my biggest issues is that I constantly feel like I can t say I have PTSD. Even though I know I have it. I feel like it is selfish of me to say I have it when my life was not threatened. I ve been in therapy since last summer specifically for PTSD, so I guess I can no longer deny it either. Really I m just looking for someone.. who at least kind... Looking For Someone Who Has Been There
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/looking-for-someone-who-has-been-there.51578/

When Bad Things Won't Stop Happening

There is something inherently wrong with me since birth. I attract bad things and drive people to hurt me. I have an aurora that seems to compel people. My ex found me and has made it a point to let me know he knows where i live and how to find me... via the person who sexually assaulted me as a child. I was 17 when I told him, I never thought he would use it against me like he has so many times. I would give anything to take it back. Of course I am not coping well and ended up going to... When Bad Things Won t Stop Happening
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/when-bad-things-wont-stop-happening.49636/

Flashback Or Not?

Hi. I ve been searching the internet for the last couple hours to try to figure out exactly what happened to me today. I m hoping someone experienced can give me some insight. Anyways I m a veteran and going to school full time. I ve been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist each week for about a month for what I thought to be generalized/ test anxiety, depression and/or ADHD, all the while getting evaluated for 2 hours a week by a third psychologist. I don t have nightmares, but have... Flashback Or Not?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/flashback-or-not.51577/

Ptsd Comic 2017

Looks pretty cool... http://www.comicsbeat.com/exclusive...o-be-released-by-first-second-in-winter-2017/
https://www.mycombatptsd.com/threads/ptsd-comic-2017.3778/

Do You Feel Drawn to Disaster / Fantasy Movies?

This is something I ve noticed in myself for awhile now, and wondered if anyone else feels drawn to disaster and fantasy movies. It came up in therapy today and my psych said it made sense that I was drawn to these kinds of movies, because in viewing them I m working on my stuff - but at a remove. I can t, for example, watch a lot of crime shows because they re too true to everyday life and triggering for me. But I sometimes like to watch certain kinds of disaster/monster movies (but not... Do You Feel Drawn to Disaster / Fantasy Movies?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/do-you-feel-drawn-to-disaster-fantasy-movies.2910/

Truly An "and What Then?" Game...

I posted a post a while ago, mentioning how I felt often like my life just turns into a what then game, having no real point, just going from one objective to the other, wasting energy. For the last few weeks I can t get strength for anything... I had a goal, to pass to the country competition, and last year, I felt completely like crap for not managing to do it, but there was still some will to go on left, and as I think of myself at this moment, I realize that I turned into one of those... Truly An "and What Then?" Game...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/truly-an-and-what-then-game.51575/

Do You Feel Safe Around Law-enforcement Officers?

A conversation in another thread and current events in the US have combined to make me want to ask this question. I have never felt safe around the police, even though I don t have many big and obvious reasons for it. There have always been stories of mistreatment at the hands of law-enforcement, but the recent grand jury decisions in the Brown and Garner cases have given me real reason to think my fears are founded. I would say, though, that I had so much fear of police discovery drilled... Do You Feel Safe Around Law-enforcement Officers?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/do-you-feel-safe-around-law-enforcement-officers.49342/