The Insignificant One

I don t post around here much but feeling the need to write out some feelings today. I am just absolutely irritated - woke up on the wrong side of the bed I guess. Forgive my stream of conscious thought style of writing... I m irritated that I feel like I constantly try to help my husband get out the door with our daughter and I don t get the same help. Yeah, he is primarily the one who drives her to where she needs to be for childcare on any given day, but it bugs me that I get up and get... The Insignificant One
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-insignificant-one.51649/

I Think The Collective "we" Are Much Braver Than We Give Ourselves Credit For Bein

Like Henry Fleming, I often feel that I am a coward. I was raised under a regimen of fear, and it made me feel weak, fearful, and ultimately like I can t stand on my own. But that isn t my objective reality. I somehow manage to survive and even learn a bit more about myself and about how to survive as time goes on. I suspect that is true for all of us. I like the ending of tne novel: The sultry nightmare was in the past. He had been an animal blistered and sweating in the heat and pain... I Think The Collective "we" Are Much Braver Than We Give Ourselves Credit For Bein
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-think-the-collective-we-are-much-braver-than-we-give-ourselves-credit-for-bein.51650/

Gave In To Self Harm In A State Of Panic

I m sure some saw my little episode the other night I was flooded by suicidal thoughts and wanting to harm myself. I eventually did. I live with one of my past abusers (my dad) and my t and I have not even begun to work on that trauma yet. My T has been telling me I m doing well and I ve come along way... bam! Set back. I feel like a failure and I m a bit depressed more than before. I have not had these feelings in a very long time. My only guess is I triggered. I need to get out... Gave In To Self Harm In A State Of Panic
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/gave-in-to-self-harm-in-a-state-of-panic.51648/

Do You Have Food Problems?

I find I am often either eating too little or too much. Like when I would have been in a crisis last year I barely ate at all, and would go weak and dizzy with the hunger. I had to really remember to eat. I didn t want to eat. I sometimes went through a day with maybe only breakfast and a burrito or something similar. I could only eat junk food. Now I have improved, a lot. But I find what s happening now is my appetite is back but I am eating too much. or at least, I still crave junk food.... Do You Have Food Problems?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/do-you-have-food-problems.51647/

I Feel That I Can Never Feel Self-satisfaction...

Yes! this is exactly what I am dealing with daily basis. When I was jobless, I felt I was good for nothing because no one hired me for more than a year. When I was at school, I was thinking that I will never make it to Uni. When I made it to uni, I thought I will never make it to honors, when I made it to Honors, I thought I will Never make to masters, now that I have masters I feel that I am running after futile success when I am internally not happy. I don t think that I can ever... I Feel That I Can Never Feel Self-satisfaction...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-feel-that-i-can-never-feel-self-satisfaction.51618/

"victim Available Here" Label On My Forehead

I ve had two recent reminders that something about me marks me as an ideal victim. In my childhood and teens I was abused/assaulted/ groomed/ by four different, wholly unconnected people. Two were total strangers to me before the relevant day. Yet each knew I would be the one to use. Yesterday I saw in the papers that one former colleague is being tried for stalking and sending threatening to another, after she rejected his advances. Initially it was just an interesting bit of gossip,... "victim Available Here" Label On My Forehead
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/victim-available-here-label-on-my-forehead.51646/

This Can't Be Real

On a site for travellers, backpackers, modern nomads, a discussion about how to travel best to warzones. Say what? Yes, you saw that right, warzones. Cos 1, it s cool. 2, I want to see with my own eyes if it s really as they show on the news. 3, I want to meet the people there to hear their side of the story. 4, come on, they call them terrorists but who says they really are? 5, let s see the sights before they are destroyed. Nothing I or others said, has gotten through to the few... This Can t Be Real
https://www.mycombatptsd.com/threads/this-cant-be-real.3690/

Who Am I Turning Into?

Hey everyone, My name is Randa and I am 19 years old. This past December I was diagnosed with PTSD and I feel like I am drowning. How do you even start to talk about this? I just don t know how, or why it happened. I thought once I got out of the situation that it would all be better. I thought I would acknowledge what happened and then go on my merry way. That s not happening. It started with fear. I felt like something bad was going to happen to me, that I needed to get the heck out of... Who Am I Turning Into?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/who-am-i-turning-into.51644/

New To The Website

Hello everyone... I m new to the site. I am the spouse of a recent Marine Corps retiree who is suffering from PTSD (amongst other things). Quite frankly, to be honest.... I am at my wits end and am looking for not only more insight into this cancer that has invaded our marriage/lives but some support.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-to-the-website.51613/

Faith, Hope, Love

Let s talk about our favourity hymns and the Bible. Matthew 7:25 has always ment much to me: Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. It basically tells us that we must not be afraid because Christ is our solid rock and as long as we have trust... Faith, Hope, Love
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/faith-hope-love.51642/

Dvr Sucks

I had an appointment with the division of vocational rehabilitation today. I was triggered beyond reason while there. I asked to do a phone meeting instead of in person so I could walk off the anxiety. This was denied. I was told I must go in person immediately or get no services, no rescheduling. I went. I couldn t stop shaking. I asked to be left alone for 5 minutes. I never got it. I kept crying and shaking. I left. They just emailed me saying they closed my case. I broke the... Dvr Sucks
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dvr-sucks.51599/

Who Am I Anymore ?

Have you ever just sat down and just thought, how the hell did I end up at this point in my life, and being like this ? I have been struggling the last while and I just sat down today and thought how the hell did I get to here, I m 47 and I have no idea where to go from here. I go along life like someone has pushed the auto pilot button, doing and saying the right things at the right time. Inside I don t really feel much at all. I don t even know who I am anymore. I know a lot of people... Who Am I Anymore ?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/who-am-i-anymore.51643/

My Friend Sent A Good-bye Note

I need to share about this. I don t know that I need anything other than to share about this. She appears to be suicidal. She sent the note 17 hours ago through FB. I have texted, called, and emailed. No response. I m about to call the police. I don t know where they can find her. I m about to go hop on a bus and try to find her in the middle of the night... So maybe that is crazy and maybe not safe. I think I will call the suicide hotline for advice. I have lost too many people I love to... My Friend Sent A Good-bye Note
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/my-friend-sent-a-good-bye-note.51641/

How To Handle When They Ask For Space...

Hello, New here. I m in a relationship with a combat vet who has been diagnosed with ptsd and tbi. We are not a new relationship, and have been in each other s lives for over 3 years. I know the ugly side and have seen the ugly side of combat ptsd. Recently, we had a huge argument/misunderstanding. I lost it and pushed too much, something I don t do, but the situation and him being mean to me really got to me. After it, we talked and he said he needed space. I agreed. He said not to... How To Handle When They Ask For Space...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-to-handle-when-they-ask-for-space.51634/

Trictotillomania

im new to this forum . My therapist suggested that I might have ptsd. Im 53 years old and I was raised by what I think to be a paranoid schitzpophrenic mother and a father that had complications due to diabetes. I coped when I was younger by having a few close friends who I treated as my family. They were my salvation and I loved them dearly. I have had trichtotillomania since I was 12 and Im wondering if anyone else on this forum has it. There seems to be a relationship between having... Trictotillomania
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/trictotillomania.51638/

T "unavalible" For Over A Month

I had a session with my T today and at the very end of the session she said she was going to be unavailable to all her clients till mid April. She said she could give me the name of another T I could see if I needed. I asked her why she never gives any notice of when she is going to be away. She said what difference would it make. I consider myself to be lucky in the fact that I can cope while she is away but there are others (and I have been this way myself in the past) who would struggle... T "unavalible" For Over A Month
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/t-unavalible-for-over-a-month.51636/

New And Nervous

Hi, so I m new to everything. I m new to PTSD (recently diagnosed), I m new to online support of any kind and I m going through a lot of new changes in my life. I recently got out of a 2 year abusive relationship and I m still not the best at talking about it-even when I need to. I ve lost most of my support system and I m trying to go back to school and work to put myself through college. Honestly, things have been gradually getting extremely overwhelming. Lately, I ve been feeling... New And Nervous
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-and-nervous.51617/

My Precious Little Angel Turns Six Years Old.

Tomorrow marks my lovely littlest baby girls Birthday, she will be six years old. The one child I realize I should not have a particular soft spot for but you see she had a slightly different birth to that of her siblings. She used to go to nursery telling all her friends "M" "T" and "K" were all born by nurses, I was born by Daddy! and she was right, you see all of my other children had a midwife led labor, Not my little "Hannah" NOPE, she decided at 1100 pm that she wanted IN to the... My Precious Little Angel Turns Six Years Old.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/my-precious-little-angel-turns-six-years-old.51605/

Therapy Embarrassment

To start off with, I will state that I also have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and that is important to remember in my tale. I went to therapy today, not feeling too great emotionally or physically. It s hard to tell sometimes whether the physical ailments are all related to trauma and emotions, but that s another issue to sort out. I ve made a lot of progress in the last several months. Progress that made me feel stable and strong for a couple of blessed months. And then I... Therapy Embarrassment
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/therapy-embarrassment.51635/

Log Your Daily Exercise

I thought a thread where people can motivate one another by logging your daily exercise, to maybe compete a little, motivate, get others started and competing here in what exercise you do. I do mean exercise -- in that you actually go and workout -- whether it be power walking, running, cycling, rowing, weights, et cetera. Actual timed exercise where you workout your body. So I will start.... Saturday -- 30km cycle ride & 5km run. Sunday -- 30km cycle ride.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/log-your-daily-exercise.49519/

Tremor / Shakiness / Dizziness - How Do I Know It Is The Ptsd?

Hi, I am a very shaky person. I have to deal with tremors emotionally and physically all the time. When I say all the time, I mean all the time. Three weeks ago I reduced my medication from 100 mg Seroquel (Quetiapin) to 50 mg. I have been pretty unstable but was still able to handle it. Now I am just confused. Ever since Monday after running late and running very hard to get to a choir practice, I have been really dizzy and shaky. I also suffer from a chronic lung condition... Tremor / Shakiness / Dizziness - How Do I Know It Is The Ptsd?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/tremor-shakiness-dizziness-how-do-i-know-it-is-the-ptsd.51620/

Hello, New Supporter, Not Coping Well.

HI, Im Tony, male, 30 s, supporter of girlfriend of 3 years with ptsd. She has had very abusive relationships ending up with one guy in prison. I supported her through the trial, and I dont feel I ve ever got over the stress from that alone. Had some medical issues too with hospitals etc, added stress. Loss of employment for both of us at one stage, lost contact with friends. Shes had some therapy, not in it at the moment, whe wont take medication. Things should be ok money is not so... Hello, New Supporter, Not Coping Well.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hello-new-supporter-not-coping-well.51633/

Corporal Reporting

Hello, I m not really sure how to begin this other than to say that I m having difficulties adapting to civilian life. I was discharged in 2009 after serving in OIF II-III with 2/2 and 14th Marines. My MOS is 0621, but I rarely got to serve in that capacity. Mostly, I drove trucks around or was attached to grunt units. I m honestly not that stressed out about my combat experience. The most traumatic experience I had was actually due to the grunt units. I won t name it here, but it s a pretty... Corporal Reporting
https://www.mycombatptsd.com/threads/corporal-reporting.3781/

Haven't Eaten In Over 4 Days, I Actually Don't Want To.

Okay, so it s been over four days...might as well say five since I ve last eaten. The last thing I had was bbq pizza and hot wings. After I ate them I started to feel the way I did when I started eating to get my rapist cousin to see me as less desirable. I was always a really petite little girl, I ve always been very short and didn t weigh much but after I started to get raped I starting eating to get fat in order to disgust my cousin that continued to rape me. Eventually I started to... Haven t Eaten In Over 4 Days, I Actually Don t Want To.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/havent-eaten-in-over-4-days-i-actually-dont-want-to.51598/

What Are You Getting Out Of This?

Does anyone else ask themself this sometimes? Its late. I m sitting on his couch, trying to read my novel. He went to bed early, after discreetly avoiding me all evening. As he has been for at least a week now. After I came home from work and brought groceries and cooked him dinner and washed up the dishes afterwards. I m doing my best to be helpful. That s what he asked me to do, after all. I hopped into bed a short time ago and snuggled up against him as I usually do, only to be loudly... What Are You Getting Out Of This?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/what-are-you-getting-out-of-this.51619/

I Feel Like I Am Going Crazy!

I just feel strange. I have been feeling like I am coming down with something, like a flu or stomach virus, but that is by far not at all what is making me feel crazy. It all started last night at choir practice. I suddenly felt hopeless and that I would never be able to learn this newest song we are supposed to be singing on Easter morning. WHen I got home, it got worse, I started thinking about what the future would be like some 4 yrs from now. I am 60 and 2 of my grandparents lived to be... I Feel Like I Am Going Crazy!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-feel-like-i-am-going-crazy.51631/

Can't Seem To Break Through This Inability To Be Comfortable With Touch.

So, the brief history (and I ve posted on here about these issues before) is that I was in an abusive relationship and was raped. It s been three and a half years and I ve not had a relationship in that time. Though I did muck around a little with an old friend when drunk once. Now, i ve met a guy and I am falling. And he s nice and funny and everything I could want at this point in time. On our third date I hugged him goodbye (these dates have all lasted 5-7 hours because we just can t... Can t Seem To Break Through This Inability To Be Comfortable With Touch.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/cant-seem-to-break-through-this-inability-to-be-comfortable-with-touch.51632/

Not So Sleepy Daughter...

Hi everyone, I joined back in September as a sufferer (my father got me to join) but havn t really been on due to other commitments. Just thought that I d let everyone know that after nearly 4 years of repeated nightmares every night, this has now suddenly stopped so I am having nightmare free sleeps and I am now able to view my old trigger with nothing more than a slight increase in heart rate. It isn t forever =]
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/not-so-sleepy-daughter.51612/

Paranoid About Being Watched

I m paranoid. It s nothing new -I m just bringing it up here for the first time. I have a slight idea where it s coming from, but only slight. When I was a kid I used to have weird visualizations that I can t place anywhere rationally, of being sort of locked up and have people watch me like some kind of medical experiment. I know it sounds weird. In my family people tend to believe in past lives and say that we remember stuff from it. Since I have no other explanation for it, I have... Paranoid About Being Watched
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/paranoid-about-being-watched.51621/

Fear

I ve realized that me recently accepting a new job in Ukraine means I am finally not capitulating to fear. I have been in a rut for the past several months, crippled by depression. I was driven by fear this whole time, afraid to do or try anything because it might end badly. I became so convinced that everything I touch turns to crap, that everything I do blows up in my face, that every person I let in turns into a monster -- that I simply stopped doing everything and anything. I was (and... Fear
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/fear.51625/