Finding Your Essence

I m sorry if this is already a thread somewhere. It seems trauma can disrupt or alter ones baseline or essence as a person. Is it possible to figure out what that was or is it constantly changing and it doesn t matter anyway? Not sure if my question makes sense but would be interested in any thoughts anyone may have on this.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/finding-your-essence.51523/

Screaming

Had a bad experience today when crying the room started spinning down into darkness. A child part made me hide. Only until I curled up and hid did my crying stop and the room stop spinning. I thought of leaving the hiding place, but I heard a voice inside say very firmly and urgently "You Hide!" Anytime I tried to leave, I heard her yell "You Hide!" I ended up hiding in a locked room for hours feeling this has happened before, maybe several times, when I was a kid. I remembered hiding... Screaming
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/screaming.51524/

Chat Disappeared?

I was just in chat...and now I can t find it at all. It wouldn t let me hit enter, then I refreshed the page and the whole chat box disappeared. I logged out and back in and it s still gone. Is it something with my computer or account? Thanks!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/chat-disappeared.51525/

Suicide Note (*triggering*?)

I have been trying to work through things with my therapist about my childhood. It has been going on for a couple years now. I actually have 2 therapists, 1 from the VA and one from a private hospital. They think if I talk about everything I will get better. It s been 30 years since I was a kid. My brain has kept these emotions in my head for 30 years! Now they want me to get them out. They think I am angry at family and whoever...and I am. The problem is I was suicidal as a kid. I almost... Suicide Note (*triggering*?)
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/suicide-note-triggering.51522/

Advice About Possible Granddaughter's Abuse?

My granddaughter will turn five in a few days and within about the past year, I ve had two incidents that (to me at least) highly suggest sexual abuse. Since I m a survivor myself, I distrust myself on these issues--probably as I did growing up, with minimization and denial, dissociation?--and I KNOW this stuff is triggering for me. I d love to get people s input on two things: if you believe these incidents do indeed suggest abuse and if you have ideas about what I might do. Background:... Advice About Possible Granddaughter s Abuse?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/advice-about-possible-granddaughters-abuse.51521/

New And Not Sure Where To Start...

My hubby was sexually abused when he was a child by his step-father. He told me about this around 21 years ago (we re going on 34 years married). Last June, he lost his job and has not been able to find employment since. This is when his symptoms surfaced and he could no longer keep them inside. Within 2 weeks of losing his job, our nephew killed himself which worsened his symptoms. Having suffered depression myself due to chronic pain years ago, I thought he was just depressed because he... New And Not Sure Where To Start...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-and-not-sure-where-to-start.51519/

It's Starting!"

Finally the counselling starts this tuesday, but I am so terrified about it!! I have also just managed nearly 2 months without S/H, but it is getting increasingly difficult as time goes by!! Sometimes Iam positive that I would feel so much better if I just did it and I also am running out of reasons not to do it!! I am very concerned about what lies ahead with regards to the therapy!! I know i have to do it!! I know I need to do it!! I worry about the emotions, thoughts and memories I am... It s Starting!"
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/its-starting.51517/

How Low Can You Go* (before Seeking Help)

In one of the recent threads it was pointed out that we often have to reach rock bottom before we start to make efforts to heal, and that preventing the crisis that is coming, others can prolong the denial. I had already been making recovery efforts for a few months when ended up sleeping in an old mine building and eventually in a friend s spare room, back in october. I didn t end up self medicating on smack or meths, or sleeping in a shop doorway, though I know that plenty do. How far... How Low Can You Go* (before Seeking Help)
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-low-can-you-go-before-seeking-help.51516/

Getting Hit On

I am posting two things in close proximity tonight because of multiple things that happened to me today. Apologies to anyone who is tired of listening to me. This is more for the women on this forum. I used to never really be bothered if I got hit on, but I am now finding it to be extremely distressful. Like, run home and hide distressful. I think it is made worse by the fact that I live in a country where it s socially acceptable for men to be aggressive, but I feel like walking prey every... Getting Hit On
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/getting-hit-on.51518/

Sometimes I Feel So Alone As A Supporter

Some people are just being very unfriendly and judgemental and tell me my guy is crazy without trying to understand him. Just wanted to say this. Thanks for listening.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/sometimes-i-feel-so-alone-as-a-supporter.51512/

After A Lot Of Therapy.

I m a pretty smart guy. I have been really confused the walls I hit. I have always thought I could think my way past the walls. Well, I now see that thinking fast and hard doesn t move mountains. This is what I am coming to understand. My thinking gets ahead of my feelings. When that happens my feelings turn into a restriction, not a bad restriction, just one that I haven t recognized, or even denied. Heck, my feelings aren t a restriction anymore. They have a purpose. There s this... After A Lot Of Therapy.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/after-a-lot-of-therapy.51515/

Assassination In Moscow As A Trigger

I have been covering the recent assassination of an opposition politician in Moscow for work. He was shot dead right in front of the Kremlin, his body left out on the pavement for hours afterwards. Truly horrifying. The politics behind it is something so far removed from my reality that I didn t expect covering the story to affect me in any real way, but being at a massive protest today, with a truly scary police presence, was very jarring. I was hyper vigilant the whole time and found... Assassination In Moscow As A Trigger
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/assassination-in-moscow-as-a-trigger.51513/

Hate Speech ... Need Advice

my brother has PTSD and someone sent him a link to a youtube video. its a "joke" video where theres suddenly audio and video of graphic warfare and violence ... its intended to trigger people with PTSD. sort of like the ones where they do flashing lights to give epileptic people a seizure. this obviously did not go over well for him. i dont want to post a link here for obvious reasons. im not a fan of censorship but i think this video could cause someone to get hurt in real life. i... Hate Speech ... Need Advice
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hate-speech-need-advice.51511/

Can A Person Be Triggered By A Smell?

We had a conflict and I am trying to find out what it was all about.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/can-a-person-be-triggered-by-a-smell.51509/

The Old Hag

Has anyone else had that awful sensation, whilst in a deep sleep I feel this terror & wake up feeling pinned to the bed. I am unable to move & feel like if I scream it ll be ok but no sounds will come out. After probably a few seconds - tho feels much longer - a pathetic noise manages to make its way past my throat & then I can move feel& speak again. This has been happening for 23yrs on & off. When at its worst, up to 6 times in a night. Sometimes I see ppl standing over my bed, although... The Old Hag
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-old-hag.51508/

Nukemap

This can be fun.......also look for the 3D (top right)... http://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
https://www.mycombatptsd.com/threads/nukemap.3777/

Twitching Arm

I had a somatic experiencing session a few days ago. I have done almost 20 sessions of SE work. It helps a lot. occasionally I will feel "twitchy" for a short while after the session. It has never lasted longer than 10 minutes. At this last session, my arm started twitching towards the end of the session. It was related to the trauma I was processing. The session ended and all of me felt great, except my arm had this funny twitch in my bicep. I figured it would pass like other twitches... Twitching Arm
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/twitching-arm.51506/

Newbie With Nightmares

Hello you guys. My name Daniel and I have nightmares every night. I take prazosin but with little impact. I was wondering. Will I ever have my dream life back. I was going thru a psychosis in 05 and was locked in jail with no advocacy to help me. I thought it was the end times and I thought cannibals and zombies where after me. I was in there for two and half months just to ask God please save me. I get out and I go to the hospital but the psychosis was a bad one and lasted five more months.... Newbie With Nightmares
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/newbie-with-nightmares.51504/

What Do You Do On Those Days...

...where you re so low nothing, nothing at all, seems interesting to do? There s an end to how long you can make time go by playing SimCity on your phone and watching the first 30 seconds of probably a hundred YouTube videos...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/what-do-you-do-on-those-days.51505/

Issues With Wife Having Male Friends

I have PTSD due to a life or death incident I was involved in as a police officer. I have been in therapy for over a year. Invalidation is major part of my Ptsd. My recent struggle has been with my wife going out with other male friends without me. Her main one, I dont believe she is physically attracted to but I still get very insecure when she goes out drinking with him. Usualky it ends up with them meeting up with other guys too. I do not believe she has ever been untrue to me but... Issues With Wife Having Male Friends
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/issues-with-wife-having-male-friends.51503/

Suicidal Dont Know Where To Turn

Hi, I am feeling the most suicidal I have ever felt, following Christmas and the cut back of my therapist sessions on the nhs from weekly to four over the next six months and I cant contact her, apparently I need to learn to self soothe but I am really struggling with this as I hate myself. I saw my G.P yesterday but she couldn t suggest anything apart from a crisis place to go in the evening but I don’t want to go there as it is worse in the day and there are only five spaces there with... Suicidal Dont Know Where To Turn
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/suicidal-dont-know-where-to-turn.50036/

Suffering Girlfriend Broke Up, Need Advice

She has untreated PTSD from her last relationship that ended a year ago. It lasted close to three years and was physically/sexually/emotionally abusive. In 2006 she was engaged and that guy told her he was addicted to meth and then killed himself. She has not been treated for any of this. We had been going out for about six months. Things were going really well until about a month ago- things changed and she started having severe anxiety and anxiety attacks, insomnia, and intrusive... Suffering Girlfriend Broke Up, Need Advice
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/suffering-girlfriend-broke-up-need-advice.51499/

Testing

Does it work?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/testing.51500/

Hello All

Hi all, I m new here, won t go into details about why my brain likes to torture me as it s a long long story. I guess the main reason I m here is because I ve been seeing a lot of info relating to C/PTSD & for the first time I actually believe I m not alone in feeling this way. I ve spent years knowing that something isn t right but never really matching the symptoms for any diagnosis until recently. I m approaching 40 & have been looking for answers since I was 16. I find GPs, counsellors &... Hello All
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hello-all.51501/

Final Trauma Walk, No Anxiety At All.

When I was growing up I used to visit the local park with my parents on a regular basis. We had our own paddling pool I used to love paddling in as a small boy. This outing from the age of three until primary school being respite from my brothers near daily beatings. An escape that was mine, an escape from normal abusive childhood life. It was usually my father who took me, I may have been very young at the time but today I remember it vividly, my first visual flashback in a long time,... Final Trauma Walk, No Anxiety At All.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/final-trauma-walk-no-anxiety-at-all.51497/

The Sex Thread

So another member asked me to start a thread about sex where we could talk about sexual issues. (Obviously I agreed, and so here we are...) I know it can be hard to bring up sexual and relationship issues, so hopefully this can be an ongoing thread where people can ask sexual things and not feel ashamed to do so. I realize that sex is a triggering topic as I have noticed this objection brought up in chat before. It is up to individual members to monitor their own reactions and if... The Sex Thread
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-sex-thread.47781/

Do People Fake PTSD?

I want to ask about what is a sore subject with me. Have any of you ever encountered someone who "faked" having PTSD? It seems to me that in the 90 s PTSD sorta become the "cool" illness to have. I remember a woman who was shoplifting in Wal Mart and claimed the clerks gave her PTSD by detaining her for the cops. I just wondered what ya ll thought of this type of claim.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/do-people-fake-ptsd.9561/

New Memories From Childhood

About four years ago I was talking to my cousin in general conversation about childhood and mentioned that I oddly knew a lot about sex at a very young age. Then she said that my grandpa was very open about sex and evey topic and left it at that. After that I remembered him exposing my sister and i to porn but didn t remember till later that he made me promise him to keep it a secret after my sister and I were fighting over a piece of paper he gave to her he had printed. With the porn was... New Memories From Childhood
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-memories-from-childhood.51496/

Time To Quit

I ve been trying to write this all afternoon. Not sure I can. I m so tired of fighting. What really have I got to look forward to? MORE of this?! More wondering what s going to slap me sideways with a trigger? I ve been triggered all week. It never really gets better does it? My therapist guessed it today when I said I hadn t done any of my runs this week. He kept saying that it gets better and that the only reason I feel like this right now is because I ve just had one trigger after... Time To Quit
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/time-to-quit.51495/

Unrelenting Critical Voice

Could you please change the thread title to read as we have changed the challenge sorry for having to ask . Thank you Dollars for doodles no money required more the better !!!! Please read as we have changed this thread enter as much as you like every doodle $1.00 ZENTANGLE OR DOODLE YOUR WAY TO A DONATION - NO CASH REQUIRED! When I joined this forum I was amazed at the number if artists of this site, since getting to know a lot of them I find we all struggle with the same... This Is For Everyone One Week From Today
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/unrelenting-critical-voice.51493/