Can't Bear Their Eulogies

I am going on my first holiday with my boyfriend, it s also my first holiday abroad in years and my first proper holiday without my parents. I m really excited but at the same time absolutely dreading it. My parents (mum and stepdad) regularly used to attempt Suicide on holiday, from when I was around 9 to around 16, I sometimes used to wake up to them leaving me to go and do it. I d be terrified that my parents were trying to kill themselves and they were leaving me in a foreign country... Terrified About Holiday
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/cant-bear-their-eulogies.60236/