Angry With My Mom Who Has Been Dead For 11 Yrs. For Defending My Molester.

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/angry-with-my-mom-who-has-been-dead-for-11-yrs-for-defending-my-molester.69906/