Your Beautiful, Wonderful And Unique Attributes

I ve got a long track record of not keeping a job. Basically before the end of probation I just know they re going to let me go, always due to incompetence. Lack of focus, that one pissed off customer that wants to speak to the manager (despite being pretty good with almost all customers) or I have to ask more than once about something because I can t retain a damn thing some days. So one employer asked my why I had such a spotty resume, I had no idea what to say. Well I did, but I figured... How Do You Word It To Your Employer
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/your-beautiful-wonderful-and-unique-attributes.69931/

How Do You Word It To Your Employer

I ve got a long track record of not keeping a job. Basically before the end of probation I just know they re going to let me go, always due to incompetence. Lack of focus, that one pissed off customer that wants to speak to the manager (despite being pretty good with almost all customers) or I have to ask more than once about something because I can t retain a damn thing some days. So one employer asked my why I had such a spotty resume, I had no idea what to say. Well I did, but I figured... How Do You Word It To Your Employer
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-do-you-word-it-to-your-employer.69932/

Routine W/ Mental Illness?

Thank you so much to who been following my blog and posts. Another one of my high school classmates has died to a homicide. I lost over 12 so far to a homicide. I was woken up to an argument in the house. Guys always telling my mom she s sleeping with them for money or either asking them. I grew up in a hood drug environment. I remember catching the bus with people who got made fun of. We was all bus buddies. One of them has become successful in the Marines, married with a baby. The other... Classmate Death
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/routine-w-mental-illness.69928/

Eleven Words - One Poem: Elfchen

Thank you so much to who been following my blog and posts. Another one of my high school classmates has died to a homicide. I lost over 12 so far to a homicide. I was woken up to an argument in the house. Guys always telling my mom she s sleeping with them for money or either asking them. I grew up in a hood drug environment. I remember catching the bus with people who got made fun of. We was all bus buddies. One of them has become successful in the Marines, married with a baby. The other... Classmate Death
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/eleven-words-one-poem-elfchen.45111/

I Have A Serious Dilemma In Emdr Therapy For Complex Trauma

Thank you so much to who been following my blog and posts. Another one of my high school classmates has died to a homicide. I lost over 12 so far to a homicide. I was woken up to an argument in the house. Guys always telling my mom she s sleeping with them for money or either asking them. I grew up in a hood drug environment. I remember catching the bus with people who got made fun of. We was all bus buddies. One of them has become successful in the Marines, married with a baby. The other... Classmate Death
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-have-a-serious-dilemma-in-emdr-therapy-for-complex-trauma.69930/

Classmate Death

Thank you so much to who been following my blog and posts. Another one of my high school classmates has died to a homicide. I lost over 12 so far to a homicide. I was woken up to an argument in the house. Guys always telling my mom she s sleeping with them for money or either asking them. I grew up in a hood drug environment. I remember catching the bus with people who got made fun of. We was all bus buddies. One of them has become successful in the Marines, married with a baby. The other... Classmate Death
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/classmate-death.69929/

Question

I was feeling ok yesterday until I was prompted to expose my trauma. I did and that brought back everything the perps have got hold of my mind again. I relived all of my crashes, accidents, Abuse and other trauma to grief from lives lost . I not sure how many times I have panicked since then and I can;t stop crying now. It think it was a bad think for me to do at the time. I live alone so I was left to deal with this on my own and I can’t do that again.opening up is to difficult. So I am... Triggered Bad Last Night
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/question.69927/

Both External And Internal Scars, But External Scars Trigger My Depression Most Days

I was feeling ok yesterday until I was prompted to expose my trauma. I did and that brought back everything the perps have got hold of my mind again. I relived all of my crashes, accidents, Abuse and other trauma to grief from lives lost . I not sure how many times I have panicked since then and I can;t stop crying now. It think it was a bad think for me to do at the time. I live alone so I was left to deal with this on my own and I can’t do that again.opening up is to difficult. So I am... Triggered Bad Last Night
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/both-external-and-internal-scars-but-external-scars-trigger-my-depression-most-days.69924/

"quitting" Therapist

I was feeling ok yesterday until I was prompted to expose my trauma. I did and that brought back everything the perps have got hold of my mind again. I relived all of my crashes, accidents, Abuse and other trauma to grief from lives lost . I not sure how many times I have panicked since then and I can;t stop crying now. It think it was a bad think for me to do at the time. I live alone so I was left to deal with this on my own and I can’t do that again.opening up is to difficult. So I am... Triggered Bad Last Night
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/quitting-therapist.69926/

Have I Got It All Wrong?

I was feeling ok yesterday until I was prompted to expose my trauma. I did and that brought back everything the perps have got hold of my mind again. I relived all of my crashes, accidents, Abuse and other trauma to grief from lives lost . I not sure how many times I have panicked since then and I can;t stop crying now. It think it was a bad think for me to do at the time. I live alone so I was left to deal with this on my own and I can’t do that again.opening up is to difficult. So I am... Triggered Bad Last Night
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/have-i-got-it-all-wrong.69925/

Mortified In Waiting Room

Hi, I came across this forum whilst trying to research more about my PTSD and EMDR therapy which I ve been told I ll be starting. I felt like this looked like a really inviting space where I could possibly help and also gain support from. I ve been in therapy before with CBT, now currently waiting to see a trauma therapist with my local complex needs team (uk based) it will be the first time delving into my past traumas. I ve had 3 assessments to basically get my info and they ve (whole team... Hi, New Here
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/mortified-in-waiting-room.69918/

Possible Paranoia?

Hi, I came across this forum whilst trying to research more about my PTSD and EMDR therapy which I ve been told I ll be starting. I felt like this looked like a really inviting space where I could possibly help and also gain support from. I ve been in therapy before with CBT, now currently waiting to see a trauma therapist with my local complex needs team (uk based) it will be the first time delving into my past traumas. I ve had 3 assessments to basically get my info and they ve (whole team... Hi, New Here
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/possible-paranoia.69922/

Anyone Have A Sudden Fear Of The Dark?

Hi, I came across this forum whilst trying to research more about my PTSD and EMDR therapy which I ve been told I ll be starting. I felt like this looked like a really inviting space where I could possibly help and also gain support from. I ve been in therapy before with CBT, now currently waiting to see a trauma therapist with my local complex needs team (uk based) it will be the first time delving into my past traumas. I ve had 3 assessments to basically get my info and they ve (whole team... Hi, New Here
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/anyone-have-a-sudden-fear-of-the-dark.69919/

Hi, New Here

Hi, I came across this forum whilst trying to research more about my PTSD and EMDR therapy which I ve been told I ll be starting. I felt like this looked like a really inviting space where I could possibly help and also gain support from. I ve been in therapy before with CBT, now currently waiting to see a trauma therapist with my local complex needs team (uk based) it will be the first time delving into my past traumas. I ve had 3 assessments to basically get my info and they ve (whole team... Hi, New Here
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hi-new-here.69921/

Am I A "mooch"/(beggar)?

Hello everyone. This is the first time that I ve reached out for support on a site like this. I m a survivor of severe emotional and verbal Abuse (from the age of 8 to 15) from mainly men and boys, sexual abuse, and troubles involving mental health and the medical system. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with a terminal illness recently, and I realized that in order to be there for him in the best way possible and to enjoy the time we have is to start taking care of reactions and the... Here I Am. This Is Me.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/am-i-a-mooch-beggar.69916/

Here I Am. This Is Me.

Hello everyone. This is the first time that I ve reached out for support on a site like this. I m a survivor of severe emotional and verbal Abuse (from the age of 8 to 15) from mainly men and boys, sexual abuse, and troubles involving mental health and the medical system. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with a terminal illness recently, and I realized that in order to be there for him in the best way possible and to enjoy the time we have is to start taking care of reactions and the... Here I Am. This Is Me.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/here-i-am-this-is-me.69917/

I Feel Like I Am Crawling In My Skin

Hi, I have a lot of problems on my hands. I am separating from my husband after nearly 14 years because he just cannot be emotionally supportive through my long standing complex PTSD and Depression. I have struggled so much! He just cannot understand what happens to me and leaves me to care for our three kids while I fight to stay present and patient. It is a battle every moment of every day. I am the poster woman for every single Complex PTSD symptom. I have been to inpatient and... Dissociative Rage!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-feel-like-i-am-crawling-in-my-skin.69913/

How To Tell Professors About Suicidal Ideation

Hi, I have a lot of problems on my hands. I am separating from my husband after nearly 14 years because he just cannot be emotionally supportive through my long standing complex PTSD and Depression. I have struggled so much! He just cannot understand what happens to me and leaves me to care for our three kids while I fight to stay present and patient. It is a battle every moment of every day. I am the poster woman for every single Complex PTSD symptom. I have been to inpatient and... Dissociative Rage!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-to-tell-professors-about-suicidal-ideation.69914/

Thanks To This Forum...valentine's Day 2017

Hi, I have a lot of problems on my hands. I am separating from my husband after nearly 14 years because he just cannot be emotionally supportive through my long standing complex PTSD and Depression. I have struggled so much! He just cannot understand what happens to me and leaves me to care for our three kids while I fight to stay present and patient. It is a battle every moment of every day. I am the poster woman for every single Complex PTSD symptom. I have been to inpatient and... Dissociative Rage!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/thanks-to-this-forum-valentines-day-2017.69915/

What Do You Need After A Fight With Your Partner?

Things have escalated into an argument. Mean names, curse words, blaming, past issues, the whole shabang. What do you need afterward? I (non-PTSD, female) need to process with my partner. I need some sort of confirmation we re both okay and a little bit of conversation about what just happened. Usually just an "I m sorry, let me think" or "Sorry, can we talk later" would suffice for me. My partner (Combat PTSD, male), once escalated, won t come down until he has gone through... What Do You Need After A Fight With Your Partner?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/what-do-you-need-after-a-fight-with-your-partner.69912/

Growing Pains

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/growing-pains.69907/

Ableism In The Helping Profession

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/ableism-in-the-helping-profession.69908/

Headspace App For Meditation

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/headspace-app-for-meditation.69909/

Where To Start....

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/where-to-start.69910/

Angry With My Mom Who Has Been Dead For 11 Yrs. For Defending My Molester.

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/angry-with-my-mom-who-has-been-dead-for-11-yrs-for-defending-my-molester.69906/

Using Medical Marijuana For Ptsd

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/using-medical-marijuana-for-ptsd.61880/

Why Can't He Realize?

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/why-cant-he-realize.69903/

"...i'm Dyslexic..."

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/im-dyslexic.69904/

I Don't Know Who To Talk To

I am completely new to this forum and I just want people to talk to about what happened and see if anyone can help me. My assault happened 4 months ago and although I have told a few people about it, including my parents I am really struggling to come to terms with it at the moment. Firstly I was working abroad and the guy was someone i worked with, it happened in the last week i was there but I was drunk. I dont blame myself for it I dont think but I hate the fact I dont fully remember... I Don t Know Who To Talk To
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-dont-know-who-to-talk-to.69905/

Is This Typically What One Experiences With Dissociation

My name is Jessi and I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for eleven years off and on. It started off very subtle and ended with a gun to my head while I was holding my son (who was six months old at the time). Now I m in a very healthy and safe relationship, but I m terrified. I m scared I m going to ruin things because I ve never really had a healthy relationship. So I m always on edge and nervous. I m here to learn how to manage my Anxiety and talk to others who have... Hello.....
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/is-this-typically-what-one-experiences-with-dissociation.69899/

Practicing Avoidance In Therapy

My name is Jessi and I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for eleven years off and on. It started off very subtle and ended with a gun to my head while I was holding my son (who was six months old at the time). Now I m in a very healthy and safe relationship, but I m terrified. I m scared I m going to ruin things because I ve never really had a healthy relationship. So I m always on edge and nervous. I m here to learn how to manage my Anxiety and talk to others who have... Hello.....
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/practicing-avoidance-in-therapy.69900/

Glad To Have Found This

My name is Jessi and I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for eleven years off and on. It started off very subtle and ended with a gun to my head while I was holding my son (who was six months old at the time). Now I m in a very healthy and safe relationship, but I m terrified. I m scared I m going to ruin things because I ve never really had a healthy relationship. So I m always on edge and nervous. I m here to learn how to manage my Anxiety and talk to others who have... Hello.....
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/glad-to-have-found-this.69902/

Hello.....

My name is Jessi and I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for eleven years off and on. It started off very subtle and ended with a gun to my head while I was holding my son (who was six months old at the time). Now I m in a very healthy and safe relationship, but I m terrified. I m scared I m going to ruin things because I ve never really had a healthy relationship. So I m always on edge and nervous. I m here to learn how to manage my Anxiety and talk to others who have... Hello.....
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hello.69901/

Can All Men Be Provoked To Violence?

Ive been with my husband 13 yrs and he s never hit me. I chose him in part because he s very stable. He has said on a few occasions over the years that if I provoked him enough that I should expect a violent response and that I would be responsible for provoking him because violence isn t in his nature. He is a very steady man so I trust him but his words feel very threatening to me. He thinks I need to be accountable for provoking him....this is all hypothetical of course. Does he seem... Can All Men Be Provoked To Violence?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/can-all-men-be-provoked-to-violence.69898/

Struggling

Does anyone ever feel like "what is the point anymore?" Feel like I have tried EVERYTHING for decade and half and just don t know how much more I have left, at all, towards doing anymore work towards building a better life. How does one possibly snap out of having lost all hope and see anything beyond just black at age 42? This one, I cannot seem to see beyond simple black, sadly. All I have is a dog, that s it..don t want to try with relationships anymore and, work, HAAA that s just not... What To Do When Have Lost All Hope Working Towards A Better Life?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/struggling.69897/

Is It Always Better To Face Than Avoid? What Is Your Experience?

So I was just wondering about this the other day and thought it may related to PTSD I am very good at putting others needs before my own, almost to the degree I can put my self down?? If that makes sense? Like I will put all of my effort and energy into others and their needs at my own expense. What can be bad is doing this in my own abusive family. For example, I still continue to see Grandmother and do all I can for her placing myself around abusive family members. I do this due to... Just Curious How Many Of You All Do This?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/is-it-always-better-to-face-than-avoid-what-is-your-experience.69895/

Just Curious How Many Of You All Do This?

So I was just wondering about this the other day and thought it may related to PTSD I am very good at putting others needs before my own, almost to the degree I can put my self down?? If that makes sense? Like I will put all of my effort and energy into others and their needs at my own expense. What can be bad is doing this in my own abusive family. For example, I still continue to see Grandmother and do all I can for her placing myself around abusive family members. I do this due to... Just Curious How Many Of You All Do This?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/just-curious-how-many-of-you-all-do-this.69896/

New To The Site And Want To Talk

I have had PTSD my entire life and have a history of self harm that is in good control. I see a therapist and a nurse practitioner for medications. I was recently hospitalized for a Suicide attempt and it was terrible. I am glad to be out and feel much better. I am interested in chatting with others who have PTSD and would like to get to know people who also suffer as I do. Thanks.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-to-the-site-and-want-to-talk.69894/

Why?

This is a silly game for all of us to connect whom usually disconnect. I will start with a word. The next person to post must post the first word that comes to mind (articles and prepositions do not count: the, a, an, of, etc.). The next person looks at the last post, posts their first word association, and so on. Please post your word at the end of your post so that this is the last word the next person reads and their association can be clear! The fun of the game is getting from... A Turn Away From Dissociation: The Association Thread
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/why.69890/

I Just Want To Sleep Regularly

This is a silly game for all of us to connect whom usually disconnect. I will start with a word. The next person to post must post the first word that comes to mind (articles and prepositions do not count: the, a, an, of, etc.). The next person looks at the last post, posts their first word association, and so on. Please post your word at the end of your post so that this is the last word the next person reads and their association can be clear! The fun of the game is getting from... A Turn Away From Dissociation: The Association Thread
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-just-want-to-sleep-regularly.69891/

Spouse Of Combat Vet

This is a silly game for all of us to connect whom usually disconnect. I will start with a word. The next person to post must post the first word that comes to mind (articles and prepositions do not count: the, a, an, of, etc.). The next person looks at the last post, posts their first word association, and so on. Please post your word at the end of your post so that this is the last word the next person reads and their association can be clear! The fun of the game is getting from... A Turn Away From Dissociation: The Association Thread
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/spouse-of-combat-vet.69892/

Honesty And Panic Attacks

I just want to try anything that might help.i used to keep fit,walking/running etc,
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/honesty-and-panic-attacks.69887/

Being Faithful

I just want to try anything that might help.i used to keep fit,walking/running etc,
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/being-faithful.69889/

Will Exercise And Going To A Gym Class Help With With Complex Ptsd?

I just want to try anything that might help.i used to keep fit,walking/running etc,
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/will-exercise-and-going-to-a-gym-class-help-with-with-complex-ptsd.69888/

Can't Bear Their Eulogies

I am going on my first holiday with my boyfriend, it s also my first holiday abroad in years and my first proper holiday without my parents. I m really excited but at the same time absolutely dreading it. My parents (mum and stepdad) regularly used to attempt Suicide on holiday, from when I was around 9 to around 16, I sometimes used to wake up to them leaving me to go and do it. I d be terrified that my parents were trying to kill themselves and they were leaving me in a foreign country... Terrified About Holiday
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/cant-bear-their-eulogies.60236/

Terrified About Holiday

I am going on my first holiday with my boyfriend, it s also my first holiday abroad in years and my first proper holiday without my parents. I m really excited but at the same time absolutely dreading it. My parents (mum and stepdad) regularly used to attempt Suicide on holiday, from when I was around 9 to around 16, I sometimes used to wake up to them leaving me to go and do it. I d be terrified that my parents were trying to kill themselves and they were leaving me in a foreign country... Terrified About Holiday
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/terrified-about-holiday.69886/

I Don't Want To...

Just a gripey get it out there thread for all. Three year old - toddler stuff! I don t want to deal with my increased wine and chocolate consumption (not mentioning other things). Surely almost a bottle a night is fine.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-dont-want-to.67260/

Melatonin?

The urge has been strong lately, mostly due to Abuse therapy work, but I have been able to manage it using dbt skills. Today while at my day activity someone there brought up a conversation about shelters, and it was triggering for me because of being gangraped in a shelter in 1979. Again I used skills, but the urge remains.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/melatonin.65421/

I've Become All Alone In This

The urge has been strong lately, mostly due to Abuse therapy work, but I have been able to manage it using dbt skills. Today while at my day activity someone there brought up a conversation about shelters, and it was triggering for me because of being gangraped in a shelter in 1979. Again I used skills, but the urge remains.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/ive-become-all-alone-in-this.69885/

Still In Denial

I m relatively new to this amazingly supportive forum and I ve read so much over the last few weeks about peoples experiences, struggles, insights etc and I d love to get peoples perspectives on other alternative forms of treatments/therapies they have explored or are interested in exploring. There is a lot of mention on this forum about talk therapy, EMDR, hypnosis, CBT, DBT, Exposure therapy and so forth but not much mention of peoples experiences with bodywork/somatics, art therapy,... Talk Therapy Alongside Alternatives. Thoughts?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/still-in-denial.66104/