Guilt Versus Truth

When I was at probably my rock bottom in terms of fungicidal ideation/intent/attempts, my therapist "used" Guilt to try to keep me alive. Basically, he pulled the "kid" card - and was very much upfront about it - told me that I would damage them for life if I committed Suicide (and he also told me he would use any method he had to keep me alive). I am in a much better place now but had a recurrence of the suicide ideation and we had a very different conversation. He told me that we both... Guilt Versus Truth
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/guilt-versus-truth.64362/

We Vs I

I ll start. ................ I feel a greatly alarmed. I feel very angry. I feel cautious. I feel confused. I feel Depressed. I feel disgusted with the influences of the world. Specifically tv and its content, as well as, gen. socially acceptable, societal hidden teachings. I feel distanced from contact and/or intimacy with family, friends, people in general (all of humanity). Intimacy to me does not mean sex. I feel embarrassment, for having been so vulnerable in my past and... What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/we-vs-i.64360/

Dss Has Destroyed Me

Earlier today I had the sensation of something coming out of me down there. It was sudden and it surprised me. I felt it so intensely that I really thought there was something down there, so I put my hand down there to feel what was sliding out of me. But I was equally shocked to find that there was nothing there. My BF was there beside me and asked what was wrong. I said, "Something just came out of me. I put my hand down there to see and there was nothing." So he and I talked it out... Strange Sensation In Lady Parts
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dss-has-destroyed-me.64357/

Creating Another "part"

Earlier today I had the sensation of something coming out of me down there. It was sudden and it surprised me. I felt it so intensely that I really thought there was something down there, so I put my hand down there to feel what was sliding out of me. But I was equally shocked to find that there was nothing there. My BF was there beside me and asked what was wrong. I said, "Something just came out of me. I put my hand down there to see and there was nothing." So he and I talked it out... Strange Sensation In Lady Parts
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/creating-another-part.64358/

Structural Dissociation

Earlier today I had the sensation of something coming out of me down there. It was sudden and it surprised me. I felt it so intensely that I really thought there was something down there, so I put my hand down there to feel what was sliding out of me. But I was equally shocked to find that there was nothing there. My BF was there beside me and asked what was wrong. I said, "Something just came out of me. I put my hand down there to see and there was nothing." So he and I talked it out... Strange Sensation In Lady Parts
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/structural-dissociation.64359/

Weird Impulses & Urges

Earlier today I had the sensation of something coming out of me down there. It was sudden and it surprised me. I felt it so intensely that I really thought there was something down there, so I put my hand down there to feel what was sliding out of me. But I was equally shocked to find that there was nothing there. My BF was there beside me and asked what was wrong. I said, "Something just came out of me. I put my hand down there to see and there was nothing." So he and I talked it out... Strange Sensation In Lady Parts
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/weird-impulses-urges.56972/

Beware....the Proverbial Bullseye!! (with Re-write)

My first time trying any type of PTSD forum, I m a longterm PTSD/ sufferer, and at this point accepting that I will never recover to my old self- but am working hard on fighting the good fight to at least live the reamainder, and go out on my own terms, not at the descretion of those events. My focus has been on animal, horses-dogs, and climbing. I look forward to meeting, helping, and getting help. Thanks.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/beware-the-proverbial-bullseye-with-re-write.64328/

There Has To Be Another Alternative

I don t know about you, but the way my life has gone, I feel at times like I have a Bullseye T-Shirt on my back with the words, "Use Me and Abuse Me" under it. I rationalize it this way. When I had my traumas, whatever they were, All I wanted to do is please people. The reason for that for me was two-fold. I was scared to death, so if I did for others, they would not harm me. In my post traumatic state, I could not feel love. I was just too busy trying to survive and feel warmth and love,... Beware.....the Proverbial Bullseye!!.....rewrite!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/there-has-to-be-another-alternative.64353/

Caring Too Much What People Think

I don t know about you, but the way my life has gone, I feel at times like I have a Bullseye T-Shirt on my back with the words, "Use Me and Abuse Me" under it. I rationalize it this way. When I had my traumas, whatever they were, All I wanted to do is please people. The reason for that for me was two-fold. I was scared to death, so if I did for others, they would not harm me. In my post traumatic state, I could not feel love. I was just too busy trying to survive and feel warmth and love,... Beware.....the Proverbial Bullseye!!.....rewrite!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/caring-too-much-what-people-think.64354/

Beware.....the Proverbial Bullseye!!.....rewrite!

I don t know about you, but the way my life has gone, I feel at times like I have a Bullseye T-Shirt on my back with the words, "Use Me and Abuse Me" under it. I rationalize it this way. When I had my traumas, whatever they were, All I wanted to do is please people. The reason for that for me was two-fold. I was scared to death, so if I did for others, they would not harm me. In my post traumatic state, I could not feel love. I was just too busy trying to survive and feel warmth and love,... Beware.....the Proverbial Bullseye!!.....rewrite!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/beware-the-proverbial-bullseye-rewrite.64355/

Should It Just End This Now Before It Gets Worse?!?!

I would love to hear your experiences of physical PTSD symptoms. Not the physical symptoms of Anxiety or Depression, or physical injuries from trauma/Abuse; but please, symptoms you know you get from your PTSD, and please explain the link if you are able. It will be interesting to learn how your past has brought about physical changes. My PTSD impacts my hearing in 3 ways: I may hear your words, but they are unintelligible, I feel like you are speaking to me in... Physical Symptoms Of Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/should-it-just-end-this-now-before-it-gets-worse.57020/

Woke Up With Chest Pain

I would love to hear your experiences of physical PTSD symptoms. Not the physical symptoms of Anxiety or Depression, or physical injuries from trauma/Abuse; but please, symptoms you know you get from your PTSD, and please explain the link if you are able. It will be interesting to learn how your past has brought about physical changes. My PTSD impacts my hearing in 3 ways: I may hear your words, but they are unintelligible, I feel like you are speaking to me in... Physical Symptoms Of Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/woke-up-with-chest-pain.64351/

When Should I Make Contact?

My boyfriend of 2.5 years had a breakdown on 7/17/16, I have never seen him like that before. He was diagnosed with PTSD in 9/2016, we broke up for 6 months and got back together, only to see his symptoms to progress worse. In a way, I know he needed to hit rock bottom to finally get help. He started therapy on 7/26/16 and I know he was anxious to see progression and he was really worked up the past month. He says hes unsure about everything in his life except his job and he also said he... When Should I Make Contact?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/when-should-i-make-contact.64350/

Hello Everyone!

I have been on my current anti-depressant for about 6 months now. My psychiatric nurse practitioner that I see for med. management asked me if I felt that it was working and if I wanted to increase it. I am supposed to talk about it and think about it and be ready to discuss it with her at my next appointment. My problem is, I have no idea. I have been told that sometimes it doesn t feel like it s working, but it is because it is allowing me to be in a better place to be able to process... Is The Anti-depressant Working
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hello-everyone.64345/

How To Deal With People You Don't Like

I have been on my current anti-depressant for about 6 months now. My psychiatric nurse practitioner that I see for med. management asked me if I felt that it was working and if I wanted to increase it. I am supposed to talk about it and think about it and be ready to discuss it with her at my next appointment. My problem is, I have no idea. I have been told that sometimes it doesn t feel like it s working, but it is because it is allowing me to be in a better place to be able to process... Is The Anti-depressant Working
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-to-deal-with-people-you-dont-like.58490/

Dissociative Identity Disorder Shut Down

I have been on my current anti-depressant for about 6 months now. My psychiatric nurse practitioner that I see for med. management asked me if I felt that it was working and if I wanted to increase it. I am supposed to talk about it and think about it and be ready to discuss it with her at my next appointment. My problem is, I have no idea. I have been told that sometimes it doesn t feel like it s working, but it is because it is allowing me to be in a better place to be able to process... Is The Anti-depressant Working
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dissociative-identity-disorder-shut-down.64348/

My T Suggested That Gf See Her Too

I have been on my current anti-depressant for about 6 months now. My psychiatric nurse practitioner that I see for med. management asked me if I felt that it was working and if I wanted to increase it. I am supposed to talk about it and think about it and be ready to discuss it with her at my next appointment. My problem is, I have no idea. I have been told that sometimes it doesn t feel like it s working, but it is because it is allowing me to be in a better place to be able to process... Is The Anti-depressant Working
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/my-t-suggested-that-gf-see-her-too.64346/

Is The Anti-depressant Working

I have been on my current anti-depressant for about 6 months now. My psychiatric nurse practitioner that I see for med. management asked me if I felt that it was working and if I wanted to increase it. I am supposed to talk about it and think about it and be ready to discuss it with her at my next appointment. My problem is, I have no idea. I have been told that sometimes it doesn t feel like it s working, but it is because it is allowing me to be in a better place to be able to process... Is The Anti-depressant Working
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/is-the-anti-depressant-working.64349/

Gang Rape

There is a case here in Noway right now about a girl 18 years old that got drugged and gang raped by three family fathers. 4 of the judges said that they did not agree that it was a rape cause the assholes said she did it willingly and lustfully. She was drugged severly nearly to death . No punishment cause of this 4 assholes judges. I was 14 or 15 years old. Never been with men before. Never drunk alkohol. I was a shitty naiv stupid little girl. Yes they invited me for a "party". But... Gang Rape
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/gang-rape.64343/

Thanks For Birthday Grats

What nice thing would you do to yourself? today and everyday! I would look after myself better, and might as well pay myself some compliments!! why not?! What about you?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/thanks-for-birthday-grats.64342/

Emotional Neglect?

I ve seen this on other forums and thought I d start one here, just 5 things that are on your mind today, can be totally random, and they don t have to be questions, just 5 things you re thinking today. For example: 1. The room is way too hot. 2. I m thirsty. 3. I miss having a pet. 4. Still don t understand how tv works. 5. I think I ll start a new thread.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/emotional-neglect.19361/

Really Worried And Scared

I am hoping that some of you might be able to help me or offer me some advice. All throughout my PTSD diagnosis and up until now, I have been working full time. I had been seeing a qualified therapist privately as the NHS wait was so long and I have now swapped to a lady that I have been seeing for a while who whilst not qualified by exams or anything is a fellow PTSD sufferer who now has hers well under control and she is proving to be a big help to me with the PTSD, Depression and other... Really Worried And Scared
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/really-worried-and-scared.64341/

I Need Help Deciphering

Do you feel it s important to discuss the Abuse with your therapist in order to "move past" it? I have mixed emotions. I hate the person I am and I know it s because of the abuse I suffered. So does changing my outlook about me and life require me to talk about what happened? However, I am afraid to relive the abuse by talking about it and I am worried about my therapist hearing it- I don t want my therapist to experience it through my words. It s not fair to her. Thoughts?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-need-help-deciphering.64339/

Making Progress In Moving On From Horrible Therapist

In my opinion, those of us who have suffered at the hands of others blame ourselves for the deeds of evil people. If not blame ourselves, then we at the very least try to rationalize and understand what evil-doers do. I think we do so because everything needs to make sense. And if we can make sense of things, no matter what they are, then we can decipher these things and file them away in our brain s vault never to bother us again. It is no wonder why PTSD as well as other mental health... Now I Get It. I Will Never Get It!!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/making-progress-in-moving-on-from-horrible-therapist.64338/

How Much Is Okay To Share?

I have been watching some documentaries on drug use and trafficking in the United States. Tonight, my 23 year old son was in the room and we started discussing what was on t v. At one point they were discussing heroin and how accessible it was. I mentioned heroin was what had killed his father (he knew his dad had died from drug use.) Later in the show it discussed what crack meth looked like and how it was easily made. I started remembering how my son had been extremely angry and... How Much Is Okay To Share?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-much-is-okay-to-share.64337/

I Want To Report A Sexual Assult But It Is Complicated

Let s see what the majority is! I face away from the shower head...what about you guys?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-want-to-report-a-sexual-assult-but-it-is-complicated.49059/

Today.....venting Or

Let s see what the majority is! I face away from the shower head...what about you guys?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/today-venting-or.64336/

Need Your Help

Let s see what the majority is! I face away from the shower head...what about you guys?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/need-your-help.64335/

Now What The Hell Was That?

I can t begin to describe the magnitude of how session went yesterday and the entire evening all the way till at least before I took my meds. I ve switched when with her but mostly by body, and extremely quiet until yesterday. A few were a little more vocal but also and it s so sad and a million other emotions I have no frigging clue what to make sense of. I never reveal my face or faces but one of them sucked her finger, like she did so so long ago. I have absolutely no thought or memories... Now What The Hell Was That?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/now-what-the-hell-was-that.64334/

What Am I Supposed To Say?

Earlier today I had the sensation of something coming out of me down there. It was sudden and it surprised me. I felt it so intensely that I really thought there was something down there, so I put my hand down there to feel what was sliding out of me. But I was equally shocked to find that there was nothing there. My BF was there beside me and asked what was wrong. I said, "Something just came out of me. I put my hand down there to see and there was nothing." So he and I talked it out... Strange Sensation In Lady Parts
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/what-am-i-supposed-to-say.64333/