Denial

Since my one main trauma, the one which I think affected me the most, I have gone back and forth between thinking it didn t damage me that badly and realizing it has destroyed any chance I have for ever being happy. I was trying to save someone I loved, someone who had told me more than once that he was a lost cause. He d started using drugs and I was too afraid to walk away. I thought he d kill himself. I remember actually praying (which is weird because I don t believe in God). I prayed... Denial
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/denial.54634/