Random Thoughts

I was never sexually attracted to other people and if I was, it was for maybe a few seconds and I d find it kind of gross, eventually shrugging off the idea. I didn t get off on it or enjoyed it. Now whenever I masturbate I don t feel pleasure out of it. It actually hurts and I usually feel very uncomfortable.. yet I still do it. I ve also noticed I bleed but that may be due to going too hard. (I m a female.) I slowly learned that at a young age I was sexually abused by my mother, though we... Sexual Abuse Survivors/victims?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/random-thoughts.67757/