Hurting Myself

I keep hurting myself and don t know why because it makes no sense. I want to know what series of thoughts make me think this is a good idea so maybe I could quit doing it. I know my family told me I was and am worthless and shouldn t be alive. I was forced to believe it when I was helpless and dependent as a child. I thought it would please them if I did it for them, but why can t I stop it now? Does anyone have insight about what maintains the self destructive behavior that I can t... Hurting Myself
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hurting-myself.60958/