Military Attitude

I m not sure if this is a PTSD thing or just a military thing. (My man was career infantry for about 25 years.) He seems to think that if you just try hard enough or practice hard enough you can master any task. I don t think that is true. For a start he is 6 ft and very physically fit and strong. I m 5 ft, female and work in an office. He has very good vision and hearing. I wear corrective lenses and one eye qualifies as legally blind - even with the corrective lenses. I try SO hard... Military Attitude
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/military-attitude.49241/

Subscription And Non Subscription

Hello mods and admins good day, Here I am seeing something different below the chat and above the welcome section of this forums. It says Subscribed - congratulations for that and unsubscribed. Did I do something wrong? If yes, I am sorry please show me how can I correct that? I thought better I report this here in help desk. Warm Regards, Tanishq
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/subscription-and-non-subscription.49239/

Herbal Supplements (for Pain And Adrenal/endocrine Stuff)

It s not like me to get into herbs, so I m approaching this cautiously. I take a couple different kinds of medications also, so am careful to research for contraindications. But I want to trim down on the need for sleep meds and pain killers, and ideally get off of them completely some day! I m just generally desperate at this point. I m eating very well, exercising, cutting out cigarettes, but my body still has a hard time balancing out and managing stress. And my new insurance company is sh#t... Herbal Supplements (for Pain And Adrenal/endocrine Stuff)
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/herbal-supplements-for-pain-and-adrenal-endocrine-stuff.49238/

Newly Diagnosed- Med Questions

Just introduced myself in the intro forum as I m new here. I ve just been giving the complex PTSD diagnosis for the second time in my life. I really like my therapist so far. She plans on using CPT. She s a LPC so she can t make medication recommendations but my family dr is the same one I ve had all my life. He recently put me on klonopin 0.5 mg twice a day to deal with a recent anxiety issue with my marriage and to help with my early marriage counseling but he has no idea about the PTSD yet.... Newly Diagnosed- Med Questions
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/newly-diagnosed-med-questions.49237/

Life Feels Like A "and What Then" Game.

Just a bit of my flow of thoughts. Life being a what then game. But why do all of that. For example, a brief look at a normal life and the society set goals. "You have to finish college! And what then? Get a job! And what then? Get married! And what then? *insert some other life stuff* And what then? - well, if you are done, just wrap up life and die" I feel like there is no sence in life, everything just being a game, a set of repetitive tasks. A story that gets repeated. I sometimes feel... Life Feels Like A "and What Then" Game.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/life-feels-like-a-and-what-then-game.49236/

What Is Wrong With My Mother?!

My mother. She does not understand normal human behavior. I don t understand her. My grandmother, her mother, was raped many times by her father. She testified at my great grandfather s trial, in the 1960 s, and my great grandfather went away for the rest of his life. My grandmother was severely anorexic and hand many PTSD symptoms the rest of her life. She testified that she kept him from abusing her sister, and she got the worst of it. I have seen the newspaper articles from the trial.... What Is Wrong With My Mother?!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/what-is-wrong-with-my-mother.49234/

Three Weeks And Two Days Until Christmas; So Twenty Three Reasons I Am Looking Forward To Christmas.

Reason 1: Being together with my wife, children, and grandchildren.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/three-weeks-and-two-days-until-christmas-so-twenty-three-reasons-i-am-looking-forward-to-christmas.38588/

How Do You Know When You Dissociate?

I looked through some of the threads and maybe this has already been posted somewhere so forgive me if I am being redundant. How do you know when you are dissociating? A few years ago I was seeing my nurse practitioner (psychiatrist shortage where I lived) for meds and we were talking and then I looked up and she said "where did you go just now?" I had no idea, I guess I just blanked out but couldn t recall anything I was thinking. Now I wonder how often I do this and don t even realize it. I... How Do You Know When You Dissociate?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-do-you-know-when-you-dissociate.12849/

Seeing Your Abuser

I have an issue that I’ve been told by my T is very uncommon, but maybe someone here can relate. I apologize if this is already a topic. I was physically and sexually abused by my older brother for most of my childhood. It stopped when he went to college and wouldn’t be home for more than a week at a time, though even then he could get physically abusive if I made him mad. When I was in elementary/early middle school I would tell my parents about some of the physical abuse, but they didn’t... Seeing Your Abuser
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/seeing-your-abuser.49233/

Wondering If Anyone Has Experienced This...

This is something that really intrigues me and I was just curious if any of you have had similar experiences with your sufferer. My boyfriend has combat ptsd. He is not quick to get attached or be affectionate. in the 9 months we ve been together he has formed an extremely strong attachment to my oldest daughter. She s 14 but has such an old soul. She s funny, smart, and just makes everyone around her happy. My boyfriend says she reminds him of himself when he was young. It s so... Wondering If Anyone Has Experienced This...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/wondering-if-anyone-has-experienced-this.49231/

Adult Children Of Narcissists....

I recently found a website that has really been helpful, the author of the blog really resonates with me and my experience with narcissistic abuse from my mother. I signed up to get emails tailored for my areas of imorovement in healing from the trauma I endured. There is an assessment to take that identiufies these areas. Just thought I woukd share. I m copy-pasting my email from today so you can see what kind of things she writes. Anyway, just thought I woukd pass along the resource! The... Adult Children Of Narcissists....
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/adult-children-of-narcissists.49232/

Dumped Him And He's Going Nuts

Well this is my 2nd attempt. It cut part of my other post. My apologies for the repeat. So I thought I had found a really awesome guy that supported me and really tried to understand everything I went through and am still currently dealing with. We had been seeing each other since September and really only made it official right before Halloween. Well about 3 weeks after we made it official he drops the L bomb on me. It came out of nowhere. I was shocked, surprised, and to be honest, freaked... Dumped Him And He s Going Nuts
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dumped-him-and-hes-going-nuts.49229/

Feeling Like You Don't Deserve To Have Ptsd Or To Get Help

Sometimes I feel like I don t deserve to have PTSD or to even be in therapy. I just started on medications to help cope with the symptoms but I feel like my symptoms aren t severe enough for me to need medications. I ask myself if I should be able to cope with my symptoms with just therapy and without the medications. I tell myself that I shouldn t have PTSD because what happened to me wasn t really abuse. He was a kid who was only a few years older than me and he probably treated it as just a... Feeling Like You Don t Deserve To Have Ptsd Or To Get Help
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/feeling-like-you-dont-deserve-to-have-ptsd-or-to-get-help.49230/

A Brief Intro- Need Support

Hello all. This is my first time on here so I ll introduce myself first. I had an ongoing 6 month ordeal when I was 14. It was an extremely abusive relationship with someone I was "dating" that included threats against my family and when I finally found the courage to get out of it, it ended very badly. That s all I am comfortable saying at this point. I finally decided to go to a therapist for smoking cessation when I was in college (20 yrs old) and when discussing why I started smoking, was... A Brief Intro- Need Support
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/a-brief-intro-need-support.49227/

I Dumped Him And He Seems To Be Going Nuts...

So I thought I had found a really awesome guy that supported me and really tried to understand everything I went through and am still currently dealing with. We had been seeing each other since September and really only made it official right before Halloween. Well about 3 weeks after we made it official he drops the L bomb on me. It came out of nowhere. I was shocked, surprised, and to be honest, freaked the hell out. He told me I didn t have to say anything back which I didn t. He said it 2... I Dumped Him And He Seems To Be Going Nuts...
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-dumped-him-and-he-seems-to-be-going-nuts.49228/

Are You Into The Real Meaning Of Christmas? Or...

Are you into the real meaning of Christmas, or are you hustling and bustling around shopping for gifts and putting up a tree and some lights? Or both?? Or...?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/are-you-into-the-real-meaning-of-christmas-or.38538/

Any Positive Songs You Wish To Share?

I love music and have a wide range of what I like. I was wondering if anyone would share a song that is a positive, calming or strength song that helps them??? I have many that are a bit darker that help me get in touch with the darker feelings, but I am looking for hopeful ones... perhaps one I haven t heard yet! Wanting to make a playlist to run to. I ll start by giving one I like to keep me calm.... and its about sleep, an elusive dream to me! Reminds me to just "be" in the moment. Jack... Any Positive Songs You Wish To Share?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/any-positive-songs-you-wish-to-share.10664/

Wrote Poems But Pasting To Here Adds Spaces

how can i fix that? i have open office, and word pad under accessories.. do not have microsoft offce on computer.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/wrote-poems-but-pasting-to-here-adds-spaces.49226/

Seizure Disorders In Ptsd

I am curious to know if anyone else suffers seizures with PTSD? One of my psychologists who specializes in PTSD survivors states that the brain can have scarring of "hot spots" deep within the brain from PTSD only detectable in real time while undergoing a MEG brain scan. When these "hot spots" become inflamed it can lead to seizure disorders in individuals suffering from PTSD. I have never met anyone that has both a seizure disorder and PTSD. I have researched many documents, articles,... Seizure Disorders In Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/seizure-disorders-in-ptsd.22532/

Fantasies Of Shing In Front Of People

I m really sorry if I ve made anyone uncomfortable. This post is about self-harm. It s not graphic but just wanted to warn you. So I haven t SHed in almost 6 weeks! That s the longest I ve gone in nearly 6 months! But the weird thing is, I keep getting these fantasies of self-harming in front of people. People who stress me out, the kids at the college I go to. The fantasy is they are bickering and stressing me out and I pick something up and do really bad self-harm (worse than I ever would of... Fantasies Of Shing In Front Of People
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/fantasies-of-shing-in-front-of-people.49225/

I Have Complex Ptsd And Major Depressive Disorder

I m new to the forum. I ve been seriously treating the PTSD for the last two years. I ve started hormone therapy which has greatly reduced my major flashbacks and improved my concentration, etc. I can work again but still struggle. I have major attacks occasionally but every day, every hour I have minor flashbacks. I yell out no, no, no . My PTSD is so complex I m not even sure sometimes what thought triggered it. I hate it. Sometimes I feel like a crazy lady when I m walking the dog or... I Have Complex Ptsd And Major Depressive Disorder
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-have-complex-ptsd-and-major-depressive-disorder.36736/

[[trigger Warning!]] Fantasies Of Shing In Front Of People

I m really sorry if I ve made anyone uncomfortable. This post is about self-harm. It s not graphic but just wanted to warn you. So I haven t SHed in almost 6 weeks! That s the longest I ve gone in nearly 6 months! But the weird thing is, I keep getting these fantasies of self-harming in front of people. People who stress me out, the kids at the college I go to. The fantasy is they are bickering and stressing me out and I pick something up and do really bad self-harm (worse than I ever would of... [[trigger Warning!]] Fantasies Of Shing In Front Of People
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/trigger-warning-fantasies-of-shing-in-front-of-people.49225/

Eh, Just A Nightmare Diary

My T told me to start keeping a nightmare diary, so here I go. 5. November 2014. - ~4 PM On the high road back home, after theraphy. I woke up by sitting up the moment I was awake, shocked or something similar. The dream was blurry. A lot of shifting vibrant terrain, moving a bit like ferrofluid. I was running across the terain as different shapes chased me, but with every step it was harder to move, until it was like running through deep snow. As I ran, the shapes caught up enough that I... Eh, Just A Nightmare Diary
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/eh-just-a-nightmare-diary.48665/

Why Does Anyone Feel Entitled To Sexually Harass Anyone?

Today I completed the last session of a thread/yarn spinning class. I had gotten some weird impression that the teacher was gay or something and might of liked me or something else inappropriate (not sure what) from earlier. She is in her mid 70s at least. So the first thing she did was put a paper on my leg and touch the inside of my thigh when I was using one spindle. Towards the end of the class she actually slapped me on the ass. So of course I end up remembering being shamed for not... Why Does Anyone Feel Entitled To Sexually Harass Anyone?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/why-does-anyone-feel-entitled-to-sexually-harass-anyone.49223/

Don't Know

I am sorting through my thoughts, thinking about things. I love my kido more than anything, I think once he gets married and I know he has completed college and financially okay, i think I am going to explore other options for myself. You know, they have death with dignity for incurable physical ailments, why can t they have them for incurable internal suffering? PTSD isn t curable, it is suffering. People do not rehabilitate. I have poured over the forums for some kind of light, some kind of... Don t Know
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dont-know.49224/

Girlfriend Of Combat Veteran With Ptsd

Hi, so I ve been in a relationship with him for over a year, and I feel lost. I wake up in the morning, and ask myself how am I going to make it through the day without breaking down. When I first meet him he was great, loving, affectionate, sensitive, everything you can think of, but slowly things have changed. He is distant, cold, isolated, not affectionate, pretty much everything he was when I meet him no longer exist. He is someone I do not know. I feel as if he does not feel. I am... Girlfriend Of Combat Veteran With Ptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/girlfriend-of-combat-veteran-with-ptsd.26921/

Why Do I Feel That I Don't Belong. Where Is Home?

The older I get the more confused I become. I like being on my own, but hate it at the same time. I feel empty, tend to shut myself off. Have massive trust issues with most people and to an extent, even with my own children. I simply can t settle anywhere. Which bring me to the issue at hand. I am now 65, working part time out of necessity. In my mind I can t identify a place that feels like home to me. When I was a child we shifted so many times I lost count. I continued this way all through... Why Do I Feel That I Don t Belong. Where Is Home?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/why-do-i-feel-that-i-dont-belong-where-is-home.49222/

Bf Combat Ptsd Undiagnosed

Hello. I am new here but have been reading the supporters forum for a lot of advice. My story... I have been with my boyfriend for about a year solid this time. We were jr high sweethearts. Together off and on for several years, through adulthood. Broke up and didn t talk for about 10 years and have been talking again for over 4 years. He has been in the Army for the last 11 years and was deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan 4 times. I went through 2 deployments with him. After his last... Bf Combat Ptsd Undiagnosed
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/bf-combat-ptsd-undiagnosed.32848/

New With Sign Up Problems

Hi. I am new to the group. My name is Tifani. I am a paramedic (and a mental health junky). I also have depression. I recently started dating a veteran with PTSD. A first for both. I am here trying to understand. I am having a hard time signing up. It keeps blocking me. Help? Thank u.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-with-sign-up-problems.49220/

New With Sign Up Problems

New With Sign Up Problems
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-with-sign-up-problems.49221/

I'm In Over My Head. I'm Drowning.

I need help. I m getting near the end of my rope. I m just so tired. I have been diagnosed with complex PTSD and now major depression. I ve had PTSD since I was about 8 (with compounding incidents thereafter), and I m in my late 20s now. My now ex therapist told me that I was one of the worst cases she had ever seen. I have been through a lot of really gnarly shit, some of the instant and shocking and very bloody variety, and some of the cannot-escape-long-term-abuse-and-rape variety, but I ve... I m In Over My Head. I m Drowning.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/im-in-over-my-head-im-drowning.49219/

New And Lost

Hi, Quick background. My husband was deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan, was medically discharged due to a back injury, and we moved back to our home state to be near family/friends (or I think that s the case. He may have moved only because I wanted to be near them, but that s another story.) My current issue is that my husband will, essentially throw a temper tantrum over things that one would not expect. There s a lot in my life that I ve tried to move around, to be supportive. I ve begun... New And Lost
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/new-and-lost.49215/

An Intro And Question About Possible Abuse

Hello everyone! This post will act as both an introduction and a question, as I m not sure where I m meant to post it. I m currently undergoing therapy for ptsd/ocd related to bully which has lead to avoidance of lots of things and has pretty much engulfed my life. This weeks session with my therapist really really triggered me. We were working on inner child work and my hatred, disgust and anger towards my inner child and though at the time I was fine speaking about all of this since then I... An Intro And Question About Possible Abuse
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/an-intro-and-question-about-possible-abuse.49216/

Location - County

I was comfortable with the forum saying what country I m in, but I m really not ok with it sharing my county details - is this visible to everyone and can I disable it at all to be more generic?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/location-county.49218/

The Unhoused Mind - C-trauma And The Sense Of Never Belonging

As someone who is in their 50 s now and at a crossroads where to turn, I ve been literally without a place to call home my entire life. Beginning to put the pieces together when I came across the phrase the *unhoused mind* when discussing homelessness and PD s. What I ve been attempting to do in my long years of searching is to find roots within the problem and address those. And I m wondering if there are any resources, books, healing modalities that address the specifics of *belonging* and... The Unhoused Mind - C-trauma And The Sense Of Never Belonging
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-unhoused-mind-c-trauma-and-the-sense-of-never-belonging.49217/

Cannabis And Ptsd (symptoms)

Brief History: I was locked up at age 14 and tossed in a pseudo Drug Rehab called Straight Inc January 21st. I was there for 3 years. Describing Straight Inc would take for ever to explain. So, if interested, please Google it. I was put there for smoking pot essentially. After 3 years of ritualized Mind Rape, I was back into the world. Fully believing I could change the world, when in fact I couldn t change a tire. That was all 35 years ago. Although new to this forum, I am not new to the... Cannabis And Ptsd (symptoms)
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/cannabis-and-ptsd-symptoms.38652/

Repeated Trauma When You Can't Do Anything?

My trouble at this point...I ve had repeated instances of trauma, and in all but one case when I went back over there was nothing I could have reasonably done to avoid it. I ve gone over the situation with experts, everything, and it just keeps coming back, I did the best I could and I still ended up in traumatic situations. At this point I m just terrified. It seems like I end up trapped with abusers just for trying to be on my own. They re not generally people I really chose to be in my... Repeated Trauma When You Can t Do Anything?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/repeated-trauma-when-you-cant-do-anything.49214/

Don't Even Know What Im Doing Here

I guess to start off, last year I turned 26 and I had to get a new job to keep my insurgence and everything was going grate, seeing friends making plans and what not. Then in April I had my wisdom teeth removed. I was told that it would be under a general anesthesia and that I would be asleep for it. The next moments I think about every day. It went from me wondering when I was going to go under after laying in a chair for over an hour waiting to the surgeon grabbing my chin, looking in my... Don t Even Know What Im Doing Here
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/dont-even-know-what-im-doing-here.49201/

The Advantages Of Insomnia?

how many of you use insomnia to your advantage? I m a college student so when I can t sleep I stay up and study.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/the-advantages-of-insomnia.49213/

Hello

Hello, I am new to this forum. I am looking for a supportive community to help during bad moments and on bad days. I grew up in a family where I regularly witnessed domestic violence between my parents, committed by both. It gets much more deeper and twisted when you look at how it effects my family and myself. I am hoping to find support here. Thank you.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/hello.49211/

Feeling Given Up On

Wednesday I started the partial hospitalization program. It was only a half day. It was really tough to answer a bunch of preliminary questions and fill out paperwork. Then, I met with a nurse to make a safety plan and I was exhausted from all the preliminary work that I almost couldn t answer. I went to one group session and felt completely out of place. Then, they ended early for the holiday. I went again yesterday. I couldn t even walk into the room. A really nice, also new patient... Feeling Given Up On
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/feeling-given-up-on.49212/

Any Ideas What I Should Do Now?

He suggested me to come a day earlier than I planned. I got excited and booked a flight and sent him the itinerary. A few days later he texted that he had to work, and wouldn t be able to see me as much. I answered it would be even less time, because my flight arrived very late. Later he was texting asking if I was mad. I didn t answer until the next day. I was upset because I don t want to take a cab at midnight, he told me he d pick me up at the airport. I explained this to him and he... Any Ideas What I Should Do Now?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/any-ideas-what-i-should-do-now.49210/

Self-sabotaging Relationships

Hi, just wanted to see if other people had similar experiences suffering C-PTSD and self-sabotaging their relationships. I ve done this on several occasions through promiscuity and ended up ruining/damaging strong social support and people who care as well as hurting people I cared about. After reading a bit more about C-PTSD (which I was diagnosed with earlier this year) I ve been coming across this as a symptom a couple of times (also sometimes referred to as Avoidance of serious... Self-sabotaging Relationships
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/self-sabotaging-relationships.49208/

How Does/did Your Ptsd Affect Your Career Choices?

I m currently a psychology student and will be for the next 3 years, but I ve been thinking about my future a lot. I really want to specialise in forensic psychology, not because of my trauma, but because it genuinely interests me. In order to do so, however, I will need to gain experience in working with criminal psychiatric patients, which would probably be a very heavy job for anyone. I d love to work for the police some day, but I m afraid either my PTSD or even merely my diagnosis of PTSD... How Does/did Your Ptsd Affect Your Career Choices?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-does-did-your-ptsd-affect-your-career-choices.49209/

So Frustrated With Therapist!

I ve been offered 15 therapy sessions & I ve already had 7 so far. Most of these sessions have been spent in silence as I shut down when things get difficult. I find it hard to talk about my problems. So my sessions consist of me staring at the floor whilst my T stares at me occasionally asking questions. I HATE THIS! I feel so pressured to say something & when I do, I beat myself up because I feel like it s not the "right" thing. I wrote down my trauma for my T to read last week - only... So Frustrated With Therapist!
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/so-frustrated-with-therapist.49207/

Birthday-bah Humbug

Well, it arrived. Today I am 60 years old. I have been very nervous about what my children have planned for me. I implored them not to include my family, but no one called me at Thanksgiving except I was with my daughter. What I dread is surprises. Does anyone else struggle with that? Not knowing what will be happening is making me feel trapped and fearful. Gift of PTSD or my personality??
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/birthday-bah-humbug.49206/

Trauma Diary Instructions

I can t seem to locate the instructions for Trauma Diaries as exposure therapy & related threads (Are you ready for CBT, et cetera). I had thought they were pinned, or at the top of the page... I may just be being blind as a bat. Any assistance would be appreciated.
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/trauma-diary-instructions.49205/

Can One Need Only Those Hours?

I m usually bothered a lot with my inability to slep those famous crucial 8 hours. I will rarely stay asleep for longer than five. This time is a little special, though. I purposely stayed up until 4:00 a.m. so that I could sleep till 11:00, because I ll be working on a film production for 24 hours straight from 12:00, and hoped to sleep as close to rhe beginning of those hours as possible to avoid being awake for 30+ hours. I slept fairly well, and fell asleep almost instantly. Guess what? I... Can One Need Only Those Hours?
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/can-one-need-only-those-hours.49204/

Sleep! It Makes Me Angery!

Sleep! I just want to fucking sleep! I am so sick of setting here waiting for the sun to come up. It is driving me mad. The VA gave me meds. Supposed to be real strong shit. I could take 3 and go do a 3 day LP/OP. So I quit taking it. I am not a fan of taking meds anyway. But holy shit! What does a guy gotta do to get some sleep?! OK That s my rant. Thanks.
https://www.mycombatptsd.com/threads/sleep-it-makes-me-angery.3626/

Ada, Ptsd, And Service Dogs

Well. ok. I ve been wrestling with the service dog/ "disability" issue and my anxiety surrounding all of it. No offense to anyone but I really thought when I started down this road last year that I was going to be done with therapy in a couple of months and I d be all better. No dice. I also thought this would be transient and would go away after a while. Not so true. I started to get the impression, based off my therapists enthusiastic urgings (and I mean he s pushing me hard EVERY... Ada, Ptsd, And Service Dogs
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/ada-ptsd-and-service-dogs.49202/