Why Am I To Blame?

Hello, I just joined about 40 minutes ago. I have suffered from PTSD for very many years, though it wasn t until 2009 that I was correctly diagnosed. I also suffer from bi-polar type 2. As an infant thru age 6 or 7 I was molested and at age 9 or 10 I was once left with a teenage boy who raped me, all of which I suppressed for many years. Also, I suffered & witnessed much emotional abuse from infancy until after I divorced my 1st husband at age 19. In my very early 20 s I was hospitalized... New To Myptsd
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/why-am-i-to-blame.63645/