Can't Stop Desiring You-know-who

There s this loop I have playing in my head like a broken video tape, a constant memory. It s a person who traumatized me several years ago. There s a sense that he s watching me all the time. I think it was not so much the severity of the trauma, but the way it keyed into larger, ancient traumas like it had been tailor made for the purpose--almost eerie. I alternate between fantasies of redemption and revenge (up to murder), but the awful thing, the thing I am struggling to admit to myself,... Can t Stop Desiring You-know-who
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