Feeling Frustrated

Let me start by saying I am working with a therapist and I talk with again next week but I am somewhat afraid of telling her where I am at because I do not want to end up in the psych ward on Suicide watch and he pumped full of medications, and I don t want her to dismiss me, or be too concerned either, but I am definitely starting to put the plan together and I wish I had a terminal illness that was going to take my physical life so that I could apply forvassissted suicide. The first time... Several Suicide Attempts And Feeling Suicidal Again
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/feeling-frustrated.69015/