Abusive Relationship-want Him Back?

I have been scared of my self lately. I am so afraid that the dark thoughts that I keep lock up in the back of my mind will come forward. Does any one else wrestle with this problem? I have anger issues, panic attacks, and see things that are not there. Some times I wish I could be commited and be put in a safe place, but then I like my freedom and to be able to work with my hands (when my body lets me) and I am afraid of the stigmatism that follows from being in a nut house. I don t want to... Letting The Evil Out
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/abusive-relationship-want-him-back.65235/