Wishing I Had Handled It Differently

I was raped. I know it wasn t my fault and I did the best I could have done under the circumstances. Most of what I did was automatic anyway almost like survival instinct just took over. But still I keep thinking about it, picking it all apart and wishing I could have stood up for myself. Even if that meant being killed or seriously injured. I m angry at myself over the most ridiculous things. Like the fact that he took my clothes off before he hit me or used any physical force. He was... Wishing I Had Handled It Differently
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/wishing-i-had-handled-it-differently.48968/