No Longer Trusting

been trying so hard the last few days to hold on. I know that things have to get worse until they better, my T keeps telling me this. But i have no one for the in between times. So i have started drinking, but drinking makes me self harm, and then the Guilt and regret of that leaves me with much darker thoughts. I have thought so many times that things would be easier without me. The only thing that keeps me around is my dog he is the only one who wouldnt know what was happening. I dont... Fighting The Dark
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/no-longer-trusting.65308/