I Dont Even Know

I am feeling the worst fear right now. I could barely type from shaking. I tried to workout but that didnt help. I get to this place of fear that is paralyzing and all i can do is to hide in a dark room on the floor curled up. I have for so long just wanted to feel safe. I never felt safe as I child. NEVER. Both parents were horrible and split up and I had to deal with way way way too much im not even going there right now. They didnt save me. Mom didnt save me from dad. I tried to get... I Dont Even Know
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/i-dont-even-know.52674/